I wouldnât graduate on time. And that wasnât an option. I had a scholarship to consider. A full ride didnât come along very often.
But even if I completed all the requirements, what would I do after getting my degree?
As the video ended, Dr. Perkins passed out sheets with the Capstone project requirements on it. He leaned against the desk at the front of the room, folded his arms, and regarded us for a few moments before saying, âThink carefully about this. Your proposals need to be on my desk by Friday. Once your proposal is approved by the department committee, you can get started.â
I scanned the requirements. Near the bottom I found something that perked me up a bit. We could have a partner. Yes, it said that we would be graded on a more rigorous scale but just having someone to go through the process with would make it so much more bearable.
Dr. Perkins retired to the chair behind the desk, and opened a newspaper signaling that we had time to chat and plan. Immediately I turned to Angela.
âWant to team up?â I asked.
Angela shook her head and gave me an apologetic smile. âSorry, but Iâve had my senior project all planned out since I was a freshman.â
Trying to hide my disappointment, I forced a smile. My cheeks pulled taut from the effort, and my lips turned rubbery. âI understand. No problem.â
âHannah, is something wrong? You donât seem like yourself today,â Angela asked, lowering her voice.
I shook my head. The all-too familiar lump resurfaced in my throat, clogging my words. Tears burned the backs of my eyelids. âJosh and I broke up last night,â I whispered.
Angela gasped. I had never actually heard anyone gasp before, and under different circumstances, it might have been funny. Instead, I just looked at her, feeling forlorn. Her eyebrows arched upward, and I could tell she was trying to find the right words. So I just nodded, knowing sheâd understand my nonverbal cues.
âListen, maybe we could work together,â Angela said, looking down at her requirement sheet again. âIâm sure thereâs plenty you could add.â
âNo,â I said, finding my voice. âNo, I think itâs great that you have the whole thing planned out. Iâll figure this out. Donât take pity on me.â I gave a shaky laugh. âIâm the one who broke things off.â
âWhat happened?â Angela leaned forward on her desk. She seemed more curious than concerned.
I shrugged and looked down at my hands. This wasnât really something I wanted to discuss in class, but a quick glance around the room assured me that no one was paying any attention to us. âStuff. Josh and I made some decisions that we shouldnât have,â I admitted.
Angela looked confused. âDid he do something?â
âThis isnât about Josh,â I said, a little too sharply. âItâs about me, and what I need to do for myself. A step back will help me figure out where we went wrong.â
Angela leaned back in her chair. âOkay, I respect that. Let me know if you need anything. Iâm always here to listen.â
I nodded and closed my eyes. Alienating my friends wasnât the next thing on my to do list. I turned to apologize to Angela for snapping, but she had already gotten up to talk to Dr. Perkins. Feeling deflated and flat out exhausted, I opened my notebook to start brainstorming. I stared at the blank page for what felt like an eternity. Why couldnât I think straight today? Other than the obvious reasons. In the past, I would have been able to reel off the list of possibilities within a matter of seconds. Today, my body felt heavy, and normal things like pushing open a door took extra effort. All I wanted to do was go back to bed.
âHey, I couldnât help overhearing that you want to team up.â The deep, mellow voice flowed over me like honey. I turned in my seat,