the legal side of things. I didnât believe anyone would really have me charged with a crime. But then, what did I know?
âI think my dad feels thatâs the way to go too,â I said.
âItâs the easy way out,â Ashley said. âFor you at least.â There was an edge to her voice when she said that last part.
âWhat about you? What do you want?â
âI still donât know. Itâs too big of a decision. I canât make up my mind.â
âDo you want to know what I think?â I asked.
âWell, yeah,â she said. âBut Iâm almost afraid to ask.â
I didnât just blurt it out. I told her about my conversation with my parents. And I told her about the website. I told her about the stories of the teen dads, and that I had even emailed the guy named Mark, who had posted his contact info after his story. By this morning, he had sent me a response. Having the baby and being there for my son was the smartest and most important thing I ever did in life , Mark had written.
Ashley looked puzzled. âYouâre taking advice from someone you donât even know, who is on the other side of the planet?â
âThatâs not it,â I countered. âItâs just that it is such an important decision and Iâm trying to figure out what is right.â
She looked a little sick again, and she turned her head away from me and just stared out the window.
I left things there hanging in the air for a minute, wishing the damn music wasnât so loud. Finally I asked, âWhat are you thinking?â
âIâm thinking I want my life back. I want to go back to being just a girl going to high school. I wish this never happened. I wish I never met you.â There was no anger in her voice.
âIâm glad I met you,â I said. âI think we can do this thing together.â
She was still staring out the window, and I saw tears begin to form in her eyes. And then she turned to me. And she kissed me. She held my face in her hands and kissed me like she meant it.
Chapter Eight
I walked Ashley to her class after that. As I drifted off toward math class, I felt warm and fuzzy. Happy. Iâd never felt like this before, and I was sure my gut reaction was right. Everything was going to be okay. Ashley and I would see this through.
After school, I tried to convince her to go back to the clinic with me. I wanted to sit down and talk some more with Dr. Bensonâmore about pregnancy and about the possibility of not giving up the baby.
Ashley just shook her head. âI have to talk to my parents first. I owe them that.â
All of a sudden that warm fuzzy feeling was gone. âI understand,â I said. âCan I talk to them with you?â
âNo,â she said. âThat wouldnât be good. I need to do this myself.â
So I walked her home, but I didnât walk her up to her door.
That night, the shit hit the fan. The phone rang, and it was Ashleyâs father. He talked to my dad at first. All I could hear was the conversation on this end. My father was trying to be polite, but Mr. Walker must have been screaming. This was not good.
I heard my dad say finally in a nervous but controlled voice, âIâm sorry, I have to hang up now. Maybe we can have this conversation another time.â And he hung up the phone.
Not a minute passed before the phone rang again. This time I picked it up in my room.
âHi,â I said. âItâs me. Zach.â
âPut your father back on the phone,â he growled.
âNo,â I said. âI think itâs me you need to talk to. Not him.â
âWell, you are the source of the problem here.â
âI know.â
âWhatâs this crazy idea youâre putting in my daughterâs head?â he asked.
âWeâre just trying to come to a decision that is right for us.â
âDecision? Who are you to