Curse of the PTA Read Online Free

somewhere, shouldn’t we think about what we want
     to do?”
    “Yeah,” Claudia said. “It doesn’t make sense to invest money if we’re just going to
     take it out and spend it. We might have to pay penalties.”
    Why hadn’t I seen this coming? If I could have turned back time, I would have gone
     back about ten minutes and told everyone that tonight was just for informational purposes,
     that educating ourselves about investments would be a good thing, that once we knew
     the possibilities, we could make a well-informed decision about what would be best
     for the PTA.
    Tina’s hand shot up. “My mom? She took money out of her 401(k) once and had to pay
     all sorts of penalties. If the PTA did that, it’d probably be a crime or something,
     wouldn’t it? I mean, public money, right? You can’t be doing that.”
    I wanted to bang my head against the table.
    Dennis didn’t flinch. The man, clearly, was a professional. “Helping you understand
     different investment vehicles is the reason I’m here.”
    “Vehicles?” Natalie’s friend asked, frowning. “We’re investing in cars?”
    Yes, it was true. Inviting Dennis to speak had been one of my worst ideas ever. Worse
     than my idea of painting the family room lime green and way worse than the day I’d
     decided it would be a good idea to take Spot to the bookstore. Not quite as bad as
     the time I’d chosen to eat the slightly off-color chip dip in the back of the refrigerator,
     but it had to be close.
    Claudia gave a wheezing cough.
    “I think we should decide what we’re going to do with the money,” Tina said.
    “Good idea,” Claudia said quickly, and I got the sneaking suspicion that Tina had
     been primed to speak up on cue. “We should buy new soccer goals. And we have lots
     of money to pay for new playground equipment. I found this place online that has these
     really great slides. And we could even pay for some special-needs equipment.”
    “All worthy projects,” Dennis said. “But if you’d like to have a sustainable base
     for—”
    Summer raised her hand. “I think we should pay for a music teacher.”
    “We applied to the Tarver Foundation for that,” Claudia said.
    “And they still haven’t made a decision. We have the money, why should we wait for
     them?”
    “Because that’s not something the PTA should pay for,” Claudia snapped.
    Summer put her chin up. “I’m guessing a whole bunch of people don’t agree with you.
     And what’s the PTA’s mission, anyway? To promote the health, well-being, and educational
     successes of our kids through strong parent, family, and community involvement.”
    What Summer had said was one of PTA National’s values, not the mission statement,
     but I was impressed, nonetheless.
    “I don’t see how buying soccer goals fits into that,” Summer said, shaking her head.
     “I just don’t.”
    “And I don’t see how a music teacher fits into it,” Claudia said.
    “I do,” Carol said.
    Tina turned to look at her. “Well, I don’t.”
    In one sudden surge, the room erupted with sound. Claudia was telling Summer that
     if she (Summer) didn’t know how important soccer was to the health of children that
     her children must have no athletic ability at all. Summer was giving it right back
     to her, saying that anyone with an ounce of sense understood the importance of music
     and the arts to a child’s development. Randy, stuck between them, was turning his
     head back and forth, trying to sneak in a short word every so often. His bursts of
     “It’s—,” “Both are—,” and “Don’t—” were completely ignored by the two women.
    Out in the audience, Tina and Carol were going at it hammer and tongs over the merits
     of swim lessons for toddlers. Nick was volubly discussing designated hitters with
     a young father who’d never once said a word at a meeting. Red-faced and shouting,
     they were getting to their feet with clenched fists. Marina was alternating between