Curse of the PTA Read Online Free Page A

telling the mother on her left that buying a drum set for her daughter would be an
     excellent idea and debating the father on her right about the best Green Bay Packer
     quarterback ever.
    I looked at the melee in disbelief. All this, over a disagreement on how to spend
     money? What was wrong with these people? And it was going on much too long. Why wasn’t
     Erica doing anything about it? She never let a meeting get out of hand like this,
     why wasn’t she—
    Oh. Right.
    As Tina shrieked out, “There should be laws to keep people like you from even having
     kids,” I wrapped my fingers around the wooden handle.
    When Carol called back, “It’s people like me that keep people like you from becoming
     a menace to society,” I raised the gavel and swung.
    Crack!
    A few sets of eyes darted glances my way, but there was no decrease in the din.
    Crack! Crack! Crack!
    “Order!” I shouted. “That’s enough, people! This is not the time or place for this
     kind of argument!”
    The noise level went down several notches, then fell away to complete silence. I realized
     that I was standing up, one hand flat on the table, the other curled around the upraised
     gavel, leaning forward in a pose of intimidation. When that had happened, I had no
     idea.
    “We have a guest,” I said pointedly. “This is a sad way to introduce him to the Tarver
     PTA.” I heard a few mumbles that might have been apologies, but I was too angry to
     pay attention. “And what kind of example are we setting for our children? Is this
     the way we want them to act?” I sat down with a thump, disgusted by the whole group.
    “We’re going to take an unscheduled break,” I said. “The meeting will reconvene in
     ten minutes.” Since I still had the gavel in my hand, I gave it another crack. “Ten
     minutes,” I repeated, and pushed my chair away from the table.
    I turned to Dennis. “I am so sorry.”
    He smiled. “Don’t be. Meetings are rarely so entertaining.”
    Spoken like a true bystander. “Well, I still apologize. We don’t usually behave like
     this.”
    He brushed off my apology and asked for directions to the closest restroom. I pointed
     left for the nearest boys’ room and pointed right for the closest adult-male-sized
     facility. I watched him walk out the classroom door and turn unhesitatingly right.
    By that time, the room was mostly empty. Other than Natalie’s friend and Whitney Heer,
     who were huddled together in a back corner, and Randy, still in his seat and opening
     a bag of cashews, the only other person in the room was Marina.
    “Well, that was fun,” she said, a grin brightening her plump face.
    I looked at her, wondering for the millionth time how we’d ever become best friends.
    “Oh, come on.” She hitched her chair close enough to the front table to rest her elbows
     on the agenda. “You can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy that at least a little.”
    “Okay, I won’t.”
    “Quit that,” she said. “Where’s a video camera when you need one, anyway? You should
     have seen yourself up there, whacking that hammer on the table.”
    “Gavel,” I murmured.
    “‘Not the time or place,’” she quoted me. “Ha! ‘A sad way to introduce our guest.’”
     She threw her head back and laughed. “And the way you stood up and looked at all of
     us? It was wonderful.”
    “Glad I could bring some pleasure into your life,” I said dryly.
    “Only thing is, you could have let it go a little longer. I really wanted to see who
     was going to win, Tina or Carol. I had no idea Carol had such a temper. Did you?”
    Randy
umph
ed to his feet. “Carol’s just like her mama,” he said, and walked out.
    Marina and I looked at each other, and for some reason, we burst into laughter. When
     our giggles subsided, I flicked a glance to the back corner, but the two women were
     deep in a discussion regarding cupcake recipes.
    “When Tina brought up the topic of how to spend the money,” I said, “I got the