Confessions of a Military Wife Read Online Free

called us in to discuss the arrangements. He looked like a cross between Gomez Adams and Rhett Butler. I couldn’t stop looking at his pencil-thin black mustache. I swear he drew it on.
    He was about 5’ 4” and greasy-looking. And then there was this four-carat diamond ring on his pinky finger!
    Worst of all, this guy talked a hundred miles an hour. For a second I thought I was at a used car auction. Seriously, I think he was on crack.
    He had an array of options for a perfect wedding. He said we could—for just $50.00 more—have our marriage license printed on paper with a unicorn leaping over an airbrushed rainbow.
    For an additional $100.00, we could be married in the second chapel, which featured an airbrushed landscape of a Greek temple. He offered a host of other options, but that was all I could catch because he was talking so fast.
    We finally settled on the marriage license on plain paper, which I now regret. How cool would it be to have an air brushed marriage license?
    And we agreed to say our vows in the plain chapel. When we explained we were in the military and didn’t have much money, he threw in two T-shirts that said, “I got married at the Dillon County Wedding Chapel.” He even offered to have his wife and brother take pictures of the ceremony.
    By the time the ceremony started, I could no longer contain myself. I couldn’t even make eye contact with Gomez or I would start laughing. His spiel was so over-the-top. He began yelling to a room of six people, “Dearly Beloved!” in the thickest Southern accent he could muster.
    When he began to roar a prayer beginning with “Jesus Christ, Lamb of God!” I was laughing so hard that tears were rolling down my face. I may have even peed a little in my pants.
    Finally I heard, “I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride.” I turned to Jon and French-kissed him! I was thrilled to be married!
    Although the ceremony was a bit cheesy, I was confident Jon and I had made the right decision. I chose to marry Jon because I would not move across country without making a commitment. I refused to shack up. Jon said that said something about my character.
    After being in the military community for a while, I discovered that many couples eloped. Military life has its own culture and different practices from those found in civilian life. We have a higher calling. What is most important is being there for our men.
    I knew I didn’t want Jon to go through this duty station or other deployments alone.
    Our wedding day was one of the most beautiful days of my life. I’m glad that Jon and I did it alone because so many of the challenges we had ahead of us would also have to be done alone.
    THE HONEYMOON
    Nancy and Carol, two wonderful women I had worked for in South Carolina, gave Jon and me an overnight stay at a B & B in Camden.
    They knew we couldn’t afford it. The sales job I had just quit had paid more than Jon’s salary. Now we were going to have to live on $400 a week.
    These ladies decided to give us a special wedding night. What they did was beyond thoughtful. By the time we checked into the room, we were feeling romantic and filled with marital bliss. But what happened next just was not fair.
    THE ICEMAN COMETH
    We were trying to consummate our marriage when someone knocked on the door. We tried to ignore it, but the knocking wouldn’t stop. I could hear the person at the door saying, “Ice. I have your ice.”
    We continued to ignore the knocks as our clothes came off.
    The knocks became more persistent. Now the voice was saying, “Hello, I have your ice.” Then I saw the knob on the door begin to turn and I realized the ice man was coming in. The door was unlocked!
    “He’s coming in!” I screamed.
    My chivalrous husband, my knight in shining armor, my Marine, who four hours earlier had pledged to protect me and honor me all the days of my life, jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom.
    There I was, sitting up bare-chested in