Charlie Joe Jackson's Guide to Not Growing Up Read Online Free Page B

hanging out, and splashed about a gallon of water directly into my mouth.
    â€œWhat did you do that for?!?” I sputtered.
    â€œBecause it was fun!” was his answer.
    And you know something? I couldn’t argue with his logic. From his perspective, it probably was fun. Which was something this barbecue could’ve used a lot more of, right about then.
    Teddy was clearly thinking the same thing. “What kind of party is this?” he said. “It’s like somebody died or something!”
    â€œWe’re not supposed to be swimming,” I told him. “Mrs. Katz said.”
    â€œThat’s major lame,” Teddy said.
    â€œWe’re going to get in trouble if we don’t get out,” I said, hating myself for being so … well, lame.
    â€œOh, no!” he yelled, splashing me again. The heck with it , I thought, and splashed him back. Which led to a fairly significant water war. It got so splashy that Timmy swam over.
    â€œMrs. Katz is going to kill you guys!”
    â€œKill us why?” asked Teddy. “Because we’re actually playing with water in a swimming pool?”
    That might have been the moment I decided I kind of liked Teddy Spivero.
    â€œKids, out!” hollered Mrs. Katz. “I mean it! It’s time for lunch anyway!”
    â€œBut it’s just so darn nice in here!” Teddy hollered back. “Can we swim while we eat?” I was starting to like him more and more.
    â€œThis is simply a modest way to kick off the day,” Mrs. Katz told us, as if we cared. “After lunch, everyone needs to go home and get ready for the afternoon festivities.”
    â€œI don’t know about you,” Teddy whispered to me, “but I can get ready in about eight seconds flat.” I decided the best thing to do at that moment was to ignore him.
    The good news was, Mrs. Katz takes her food very, very seriously. After Timmy and I hopped out and dried ourselves off, we checked out the picnic tables, which were filled with hot dogs, cheeseburgers, every kind of chip ever invented, cookies, brownies, cupcakes, and approximately fourteen different kinds of soda.
    â€œMamma Mia, this looks delicious,” Timmy said.
    For some reason, though, no one was eating yet. I couldn’t figure out why, until Mrs. Katz started clinking a glass. “Please, everyone, gather around for a quick toast!” she called.
    Oh jeez .
    The adults came down from the screen porch, and the kids came up from the lawn. Katie came over to me and we joined a big circle. Jake’s mom stood right in the middle of everyone, which was exactly the way she wanted it.
    â€œI’d like to congratulate all of the young men and women who are here today,” she began.
    Oh, so all of a sudden we’re men and women?
    â€œTonight you become graduates of Eastport Middle School and get ready for the next step at high school,” she continued. “I’m just so proud of all of you, including my young Jake, who has had such a marvelous experience at school, with all his friends, having fun learning, and soaking in so much knowledge. It’s really been wonderful to watch.”
    I glanced over at Jake. He looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole.
    â€œI thought it might be nice to have a moment of reflection on this day of celebration,” Mrs. Katz continued. “We’ve all been through so much, and you kids are just so terrific. You’ve worked so hard and kept your heads on straight. So here’s to all of you!”
    Everyone said some variation of “Cheers!” or “Yay!”
    â€œThat wasn’t so bad,” I whispered to Katie.
    â€œIt’s not over,” she whispered back.
    â€œHow do you know?”
    â€œTrust me.”
    Sure enough, Mrs. Katz kept her glass of whatever it was in the air. “And now,” she said, “I’d like for us to go around and ask each child what you’re looking