Campaign Ruby Read Online Free Page B

empties; spray Air Wick
    5. Confirm visa
    6. Pack
    6.1 Pack Toolkit
    7. Go to airport
    8. Buy newspaper
    9. Inform parents.
    My mother’s sister, Daphne, is our family’s black sheep. Mummy, the eldest of their clan, is a judge. Her brother, Benjamin, is in private practice. My late grandfather, who was a silk, was the son of an attorney-general.
    Daphne ‘owns a bakery in the colonies’ (according to Grandma) and is a lesbian to boot. At Christmas, hers are the purple tissue-wrapped parcels adorned with koala gift tags, clashing with the cream and gold theme of my grandmother’s eight-foot fir. Mummy has long phone calls with Daphne where they laugh and reminisce like Fran and I do, but the rest of the family whisper her name as if she’s deceased.
    A barking dog answered Daphne’s phone. ‘Shut up, Pansy!’ said a harsh Australian accent. ‘Hello?’
    â€˜Daphne?’
    â€˜Who’s calling?’
    â€˜Ruby.’
    â€˜Hold on a minute.’ Stomp, stomp, stomp. ‘Daph, phone. If it’s a telemarketer tell them to fuck off or I’ll report them. It’s almost midnight.’
    â€˜Daphne speaking,’ sang a voice that could easily have been my mother’s.
    â€˜Hello, Daphne,’ I said, ‘I’m sorry for calling so late. It’s Ruby…your niece.’
    â€˜Ruby? How lovely to—’ The barking continued. ‘Shoosh, Pansy!’ Silence. ‘Sorry about that. My dog’s pregnant. The vet says it’s normal for her to bark at imaginary things. Ruby, how are you? Is Charlotte all right?’
    â€˜Mummy’s fine. She and Daddy are at a human rights forum in Paraguay, I think.’
    â€˜She’s wonderful, your mum. Now tell me about you, Ruby. I think the last time I saw you was when you reversed into the letterbox at Daddy’s wake. Or was it Francesca?’
    â€˜It was Fran,’ I said, recalling the look on my grandmother’s face. I was sixteen and in the passenger seat. That was eleven years ago, when I was full of promise, not a notorious unemployed alcoholic banker.
    â€˜Your mother tells me you’re doing very well at the bank. Your father must be very proud. How are you finding it?’
    Ouch. ‘As it happens, I’m no longer with the bank. I’m going on a holiday. To Australia. Melbourne actually. Tonight. Arriving Saturday. Hence the call. Do you have time to catch up for a cup of tea while I’m there?’
    â€˜Of course. How wonderful, Ruby. I’d love to see you. Where are you staying?’
    â€˜I haven’t booked anywhere yet—this trip is quite spontaneous. Is there somewhere you’d recommend?’
    â€˜With me, of course.’
    â€˜No, I wouldn’t want to impose.’
    â€˜Nonsense, I won’t have you being polite with me. I insist. Stay with Debs and me. She’s just bought a nice house in the Yarra Valley. We’re going to spend a couple of weeks out there.’
    None of us had met Daphne’s partner—‘her beau’, as Mummy puts it. ‘Well, if it’s not too much trouble,’ I said, ‘I’d love to go to the Yarra Valley.’
    â€˜No trouble at all,’ she said. ‘Text me your flight number and I’ll pick you up from Tullamarine. Can’t wait to see you. Love to Fran…’
    I had made it to Item 4 on my list when Fran arrived. Clem’s riotous ringlets sprayed out from under a rainbow beanie that captured every colour on her person from the orange Dora the Explorer pyjama top to the pale pink tutu and navy-blue ribbed tights.
    â€˜Clementine decided to dress herself this morning,’ said Fran, pulling the long, dark-blonde hair I used to plait from the collar of her Burberry mac. ‘You’re going to be fine, Ruby,’ she convinced herself, shifting her gaze from my left eye to my right. ‘Everything’s going to be