Digitalâs all right for flash and bang, but you want the real thing, you need film. For some reason I loaded color this morning, which is pointless for the paper, but Iâm not regretting it.
Hereâs the captain, haggard and red-lit by dawn, looking down at the charred pavement, glinting gold with spent casings. Behind him, smoke from the burning car obscures the sky. Heâs got a face like one of Rodinâs burghers: satisfaction barely registering in his eyes, in the set of his mouth. But thereâs disgust, as well, with what heâs had to do and what it cost him.
Hereâs the ambulance man, a cigarette dangling from his lips as he wraps gauze around a cop who took shrapnel in the side. Heâs smiling, making a joke, but you can see the hollowness in his eyes.
Here are the uniforms, pushing down the stairs with those great bricks of heroin on their shoulders: faces blank, eyes glazed and terrified. Actors whoâve forgotten their lines. They donât even know what the play is anymore.
Been a while since I did anything this good.
Shame no one will buy them.
Behind me, I hear something like a gorilla try to tear the door off its hinges. Then thereâs Gus, shoving himself into the tiny room, breathing in my ear as he stares at the luscious brown bundles.
âKhieu says thatâs ninety kiâs prime Burmese heroin,â he whispers. âPulled it out of the fuckinâ walls. Thatâs millions by the time it hits Sydney or Hong Kong. Someone fucked up big.â
Thereâs no space to turn around, but I can feel him looking: he thinks Iâm up to something. It was drug shit this morning, so heâs been waiting, wondering what story Iâll tell. He doesnât actually care what I do, he just gets his kicks giving me a hard time. You make your own fun in Phnom Penh.
âThis isnât a fuckup,â I say. âYou donât catch the head of the armyâs drug business in a house with half the countryâs product just âcause someone was careless. Those cops didnât know what they were gonna find, but someone did.â
âYou think Hok Lundyâs trying to push out the competition?â
I mull it over. The cops mostly deal internal, small-time stuff, but the head of the police has his own outfit. One of the few who can: his daughterâs married to the prime ministerâs son. Over time, Hok Lundyâs built himself up into a major player. Heâs strong in Phnom Penhâmaybe he thinks heâs got strong enough to tell the generals to get off his turf.
âCould be,â I say.
âHeâs a brave guy.â
âBrave has a short shelf life.â
âHe could take it quite far, though.â
If he tries a coup, weâll have blood in the gutters by nightfall.
Weâre both quiet a minute. Finally, Gus: âThese are good shots.â
âFuck off. Youâre gonna use the shit I gave Ray, the guy shooting over the car.â
He doesnât bother denying it. âIt sells papers. These are better.â Unspoken accusation in his voice: Why donât you get out of the sticks, Will, go do something real? Go to Iraq like everyone elseâ
âFuck you,â I say too loud. âAnd your war. Iâm fine here.â Now I do turn around, forcing him back against the door. âYou really gave a shit, youâd gimme a little time out of this fuckinâ city.â
For a second I think he looks surprised. âWhat do you want to do out in the provinces?â Suspicious bastard.
âTake pictures I can fuckinâ sell. Itâs Phnom Penh no one cares about, fuckinâ politics. Theyâll buy KR. Theyâll buy landscapes . Shit, I can take pictures of kids with big, hungry eyes and hawk âem to Oxfam for brochures, but thisââ
âSo itâs money.â Heâs done being surprised. âI thought you went to Vientiane for money. A week