Boy Meets Girl - Say Hello to Courtship Read Online Free Page A
Author: Joshua Harris
Tags: Spirituality, Spiritual Growth, Christian Life - General
specifically addressed the topic of dating and courtship in his earthly ministry, He answered our question about the right way to do relationships by answering the broader question of the right way to live life.
In the Bible we read the story of a teacher of the law who heard Jesus debating with the Pharisees. He was impressed by Jesus' wisdom and asked him a sincere question. "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"
The man was asking for the essence of God's requirements. He wanted Jesus to sum it all up for him-to help him see the heart of the law. Isn't that exactly what we need when it comes to relationships? We want to know what really matters to God as we pursue marriage. When we sweep aside all the human customs and traditions and opinions, what remains? Jesus gave this answer:
"The most important one...is this.... 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:29-33)
Jesus is saying that what really matters in life is to love God with every fiber of our being-heart, soul, mind, strength- and to let that love spill over into the way we treat our fellow man. He's telling us that if we want to get life right, we need to make it about God. Another way to put it is that we need to see God's glory as the greatest purpose of every part of life. "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31).
34
Courtship for Him, His Way
Do you see how Jesus' teaching sheds light on the issue of dating and courtship? When we apply Christ's words to our question, we see that what matters most in our relationships with the opposite sex is living to glorify God. What does this mean in practical terms? This easy-to-remember definition helps me:
Living to glorify God means doing everything... for Him, His way,
to point to His greatness and reflect His goodness.
So how does this translate into real life for a man and woman in a purposeful romantic relationship? Let me share five characteristics that I consider the "essentials." We'll enlarge on these in later chapters, but for now they'll give us an outline. Though these characteristics will be expressed differently in different people's lives, when our relationships are truly "for God," these essentials will be present.
1. Joyful obedience to God's Word.
If we are going to do things God's way, submission to His Word is nonnegotiable. Deuteronomy 4:2 says, "Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the LORD your God."
It's a mistake to think that we can pick and choose from the commands of God's Word. Recently, a friend named Noel, who had moved to California, told me and several other people via e-mail that she and her fiance, Derrick, had decided to move in together before getting married. Dismayed by the news, we
35
gently confronted Noel and pleaded with her to reconsider her decision. We reminded her of verses like 1 Corinthians 6:18, Ephesians 5:3, and Hebrews 13:4, which clearly instruct Christians to flee sexual immorality.
Noel wouldn't listen. She wrote back to tell us that they both loved God very much and felt that it was okay. Besides, it would save them money. They knew God would understand.
Like Noel and Derrick, many couples think obedience to the Word of God can be based on feelings. But it just isn't true. Jesus said, "If you love me, you will obey what I command" (John 14:15). People in a God-glorifying relationship want God's will more than anything else and follow the commands of the Bible no matter what the cost.
Disobedience dishonors God. When we choose to rebel against His commands, our actions say that He doesn't know what He's talking about, that His Word is outdated, and that He isn't trustworthy. But when we say yes to God in our relationships -even in small
In the Bible we read the story of a teacher of the law who heard Jesus debating with the Pharisees. He was impressed by Jesus' wisdom and asked him a sincere question. "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"
The man was asking for the essence of God's requirements. He wanted Jesus to sum it all up for him-to help him see the heart of the law. Isn't that exactly what we need when it comes to relationships? We want to know what really matters to God as we pursue marriage. When we sweep aside all the human customs and traditions and opinions, what remains? Jesus gave this answer:
"The most important one...is this.... 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:29-33)
Jesus is saying that what really matters in life is to love God with every fiber of our being-heart, soul, mind, strength- and to let that love spill over into the way we treat our fellow man. He's telling us that if we want to get life right, we need to make it about God. Another way to put it is that we need to see God's glory as the greatest purpose of every part of life. "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31).
34
Courtship for Him, His Way
Do you see how Jesus' teaching sheds light on the issue of dating and courtship? When we apply Christ's words to our question, we see that what matters most in our relationships with the opposite sex is living to glorify God. What does this mean in practical terms? This easy-to-remember definition helps me:
Living to glorify God means doing everything... for Him, His way,
to point to His greatness and reflect His goodness.
So how does this translate into real life for a man and woman in a purposeful romantic relationship? Let me share five characteristics that I consider the "essentials." We'll enlarge on these in later chapters, but for now they'll give us an outline. Though these characteristics will be expressed differently in different people's lives, when our relationships are truly "for God," these essentials will be present.
1. Joyful obedience to God's Word.
If we are going to do things God's way, submission to His Word is nonnegotiable. Deuteronomy 4:2 says, "Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the LORD your God."
It's a mistake to think that we can pick and choose from the commands of God's Word. Recently, a friend named Noel, who had moved to California, told me and several other people via e-mail that she and her fiance, Derrick, had decided to move in together before getting married. Dismayed by the news, we
35
gently confronted Noel and pleaded with her to reconsider her decision. We reminded her of verses like 1 Corinthians 6:18, Ephesians 5:3, and Hebrews 13:4, which clearly instruct Christians to flee sexual immorality.
Noel wouldn't listen. She wrote back to tell us that they both loved God very much and felt that it was okay. Besides, it would save them money. They knew God would understand.
Like Noel and Derrick, many couples think obedience to the Word of God can be based on feelings. But it just isn't true. Jesus said, "If you love me, you will obey what I command" (John 14:15). People in a God-glorifying relationship want God's will more than anything else and follow the commands of the Bible no matter what the cost.
Disobedience dishonors God. When we choose to rebel against His commands, our actions say that He doesn't know what He's talking about, that His Word is outdated, and that He isn't trustworthy. But when we say yes to God in our relationships -even in small
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