guinea pig letters
As it turned out, Jazziâs idea of cleaning out the guinea pig hutch myself wasnât all that bad. Jazzi was at our place more and more and cleaning up after Fifi and Lulu gave me something to do while she and Dad gazed into each otherâs eyes, held hands and they drank endless cups of tea. At least with Jazzi around so much, the guinea pigs never ran out of apple or celery or broccoli.
Fifi and Lulu began to come out of their little bedroom when they heard me coming. I would squat down next to the hutch and hold out bits of food without moving, even though sometimes my legsbegan to hurt. Eventually Fifi, she was the brave one, would dart forward and grab the celery or apple or broccoli and then rush away and nibble at it down in the far corner. Once sheâd done it, Lulu would come in twitching and nervy to get the other piece.
But there were other ideas of Jazziâs that werenât so good.
âWhy do I have to make my bed in the morning?â
âBecause it looks neat and pretty.â
âI donât have time in the morning.â
âGet up a little earlier. It only takes five minutes.â
âFive minutes when I could be asleep and dreaming.â
âOr five minutes when you could be up, enjoying the day.â
âIâd rather enjoy my dreams.â
âWhy do you always have to argue?â
âI donât always argue. Itâs just that I do prefer dreaming. Once the morning starts itâs just go, go, go and everyone ends up grumpy.â
âI just want you to make your bed. Itâs not much to ask.â
âI didnât have to do it for Dad.â
âBut you do have to for me.â
âIt seems like I have to do a lot of things for you when you donât even live here and weâre not even related. I donât think itâs fair. Youâre not my mother,Jazzi, and you never will be.â
Jazzi stopped making my lunch sandwiches and just looked at me. I swallowed hard. I didnât like the way she was looking. I didnât mind it if she got mad, but she didnât look angry, she just looked very sad. Her eyes went all wavery the way mine did right before I started to cry. She sniffed, turned away and did something in the sink. When she turned back her eyes were okay again and I thought I must have been imagining things.
âI know Iâm not your mother. Iâm not stupid enough to think I can replace her in either your life or your dadâs.â
âI donât like how everythingâs changed,â I said. âI liked things the way they were, before you came along and ruined everything.â
I called good-bye to Dad and walked to school with Jazzi without talking once. She pointed out things on the way like she always did â a puppy in a car window, a baby so new its face was still all crumpled, and some bright pink flowers on a bush â but I didnât even look at them.
Jazzi worked five mornings a week at the high school up the road as an integration aide.
âWhich is terrific,â Dad said, âbecause it means that sheâll be able to drop you off at school some mornings and then some afternoons sheâll pick you up and some afternoons Nanna will pick you up.â
As it turned out, Nanna hardly ever picked me up. Some afternoons I used to walk over to her place because I missed her. Then weâd all sit around playing cards just like we used to. Often, though, Jazzi had things she wanted me to do.
Some of these were okay. If it was hot, weâd go swimming at the pool across the road. Nanna didnât like going to the pool because she had to sit out on the grass or in the sun and she said she was too old to do that. Jazzi didnât mind. Sheâd bring her knitting or a book and a big hat and sit there wrapped up in a sarong. Sometimes she came and did some laps of breaststroke, holding her head high out of the water.
Other things