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I was the “only” parent who said no.
    Isn’t it hard enough to keep an eye on your own teenagers without having to be responsible for ten more kids for twelve hours straight? I also felt I had been given a warning about the possible consequences of coed sleepovers from a young intern who worked on the
Donny & Marie
talk show in 2000. He told me about his high school years and how his parents allowed him to host a big coed sleepover at his house. Even though his parents were both home, in the kitchen fixing food for the gang, one of the girls, upset over being ignored by a boy at the sleepover, got into the medicine cabinet of the parents’ bedroom and overdosed on prescription painkillers that the father had for a back injury. The girl fell unconscious, was rushed to the hospital, went into a coma, but eventually recovered. The parents ended up having to handle a lawsuit that lasted for years. I know this is up there in the “worst-case-scenario” category, but I always pay attention to these types of things because I feel that I’m hearing them for a reason. I was told about this incident right as my oldest son and daughter were heading to high school and junior high.
    I like mine being the home where my children’s friends feel welcome, but it has its limits in their dating years. I think there can be drawbacks to letting teenagers “hang out” together at the house for hours on end, especially if it’s a dating situation. Everything becomes too personalized, and both the child and the family lose a sense of privacy. I want my daughters andsons to feel that dating is a special occasion, a fun event. Teenagers’ bodies are already raging with hormones, and that’s enough to create an unstable situation, physically and emotionally. Having a boy or girl they are interested in “hang” or “chill” and play video games for hours on end in your family room does not teach your children how to build a relationship that has a chance of lasting. As parents, we know that outside of our homes, they are still teenagers, and they don’t always make the wisest choices. A lot can happen in a short amount of time. We all have heartache when we see a child get hurt by a poor choice when it comes to dating. That’s why I want my own boys to have a moral respect and appreciation for females, and I want my girls to feel that they are special and to know that their self-respect will determine how they will be treated by males. I know it’s an old-fashioned perspective, but when I look at the fact that one in four adults ends up living alone, I have to wonder if it isn’t a result of the casual disregard that is now prevalent when it comes to dating.
    One night after the show, I was talking to a young mother whose daughter was entering the seventh grade that fall. She was concerned about how to protect her daughter’s maturity process and to make sure she wasn’t confronted with peer pressure in a sexual way that was way beyond her years. She had found this quote on the Internet and shared it with me. The author is unknown, but the wisdom in it is universal:
    “We need to teach our daughters the difference between a man who
flatters
her and a man who
compliments
her; a man who
spends money
on her and a man who
invests
in her; a manwho views her as
property
and a man who views her
properly
; a man who
lusts
after her and a man who
loves
her; a man who believes
he
is God’s gift to women and a man who remembers a
woman
was God’s gift to man. And then teach
our sons
to be that kind of man.”
    When my husband, Steve, came back into my life, we wanted to make sure we took the time to date again. He would ring the doorbell, take me out to dinner and a show, and walk me to the door after our date. I loved it. It made me feel appreciated and honored. It also gave the two of us a structure in which we could talk and enjoy each other’s company without any pressure. I’m so grateful that my two younger boys will now have