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to figure out.” Christy leaned forward and paused, making sure she had Katie’s full attention. “I want you both to tell me the truth. Tell me your honest opinion.”
    Sierra and Katie both waited.
    â€œDo you think it’s possible to finally decide that you really, truly love someone but not end up marrying him?”
    The room went still for a moment while the three friends exchanged glances.
    â€œYes,” Katie said, her expression completely serious for the first time all evening. “I think it’s possible to realize you love someone as deeply as you know how to love and not end up spending the rest of your life with him.”
    Sierra slowly nodded. “I think so, too.”
    Christy felt her vision blur with uninvited tears. “So do I,” she said in a whisper. “And that’s what I’m afraid of.”

2 Christy stayed up until after two in the morning talking with Sierra and Katie. When Katie rose shortly before noon and said she was going into town to get something to eat, Christy told her to go on without her. Then she did something she didn’t think she had ever done before—she slept all day and all night.
    On Thursday morning Christy woke with a horrible headache. She ate a soggy breakfast burrito Katie had left for her with a note saying that Katie was shopping with Sierra. After a hot shower that did her little good, Christy went back to bed, where she fell into a deep sleep for the rest of the day.
    When she woke, it was almost dusk, and she felt more coherent than she had in weeks. Maybe even in months, as if she had broken through the exhaustion barrier.
    Christy had just pulled herself out of bed and was stretching, when Katie came in holding a bag from the deli in town. “Hey,” Katie said, “she lives! She breathes! Does she want to eat?”
    â€œYes, I’m starving. Thank you so much. Thanks for leaving the burrito for me this morning, too.”
    â€œNo problem. You must be feeling better.”
    â€œI do. I feel normal again. No, better than normal.”
    â€œThat’s good to hear. I was beginning to worry about you.”
    Christy reached in the bag and took out one of the turkey sandwiches. She closed her eyes and said a quick prayer of thanks before taking a bite.
    â€œYou look better,” Katie said. “I think those extra weeks at the orphanage in Switzerland really did you in.”
    Christy knew Katie was right. Her year in Switzerland had been good in many ways, but her life had been nonstop, requiring a great deal of her physically and emotionally. She gave of herself to the children at the orphanage, often for more than thirty hours a week, as well as maintaining a full schedule of classes.
    â€œI know,” Christy agreed, settling cross-legged on her bed. “You’re right about the orphanage. Those kids broke my heart every day. I really felt empty by my last few weeks there.”
    â€œAre you glad you stayed through the term?” Katie asked.
    â€œWhat do you mean?”
    â€œWhen Todd and I were there in June, you had that big breakthrough revelation about how you weren’t suited for crisis maintenance-type work. You know, all that stuff you were talking about when we were in Amsterdam. How you were going to change your major but you still thought you should stay in Switzerland to finish the program. Are you glad you stayed?”
    Christy nodded, her mouth full.
    â€œI know you felt you needed to keep your promise to the orphanage and to the university in Basel,” Katie said. “Inever told you, but I admired you for making that decision.”
    â€œThanks.”
    â€œI’ve been thinking about all the stuff we talked about the other night. You’re good for me, Chris. You cause me to think things through rather than impulsively run ahead. Sierra and I were just saying how we both have a problem with being too spontaneous.”
    â€œThat’s why