the chill within and without, I stared up into the black and endless sky, dotted by the pinpricks of light that spilled through from the heavens.
I drifted toward the mast and sat, watching the subtle movements of Torquilâs hands and eyes. âI thank ye for helping me.â It was nearly painful to say the words. We had been at odds for so long and our animosity toward each other was still fresh in my memory.âYeâll be facing a goodly portion oâ chaff when ye return.â
He ignored my words and fished a pouch from his sporran. âI saved my share of the haul this summer.â His voice was low, but even soft conversation seemed loud on the water. âI thought to hold on to it in case I was able to get to market to buy Bridie a ring.â My jaw dropped in shock. That he would give me money was nearly as surprising as the thought of him marrying. I looked for the lie. His eyes were far away. I could read nothing in their depths.
âI want ye to have it, Tormod,â he said. âI donât like the idea of ye off with naught but the clothes on yer back anâ that wee pack.â
Another shock. âYeâve got plans for that coin,â I gasped. âI cannoâ take it.â I felt like it was a trap. âYeâve worked anâ saved. Marriage?â I mumbled. âI canât even fathom it.â
He smiled in his
Iâm older and know something you donât
way. As usual it got under my skin, but I said nothing. âGo on anâ take it.â He tossed the pouch to the deck near my leg. âIâve gotten on without a ring until now. Iâll raise it again. Bridieâd noâ care. She worried for ye long, ere ye went away.â
Revelation on revelation. Bridie worried over my disappearance? The last Iâd seen of her, she was mocking my hair and freckles. It was so small a thing now, Iwondered why it bothered me to begin with. âWhy are ye helping me?â I said at last, nearly afraid to have mentioned it. In a small voice I said, âYe hate me.â
âHate ye! Lord, whatever would give ye that ridiculous notion?â He seemed truly offended. I didnât know what to think.
âCome on, man,â I exclaimed. âYeâve had no use for me for long anâ away. Yeâve been torturous since that day on the beach. I didnât plan on having that vision, nor did I expect you to tell Cormack I saw his da dead, Torquil. I was as shocked as ye were.â I turned my eyes from his, still hurt by the memory.
The reference to it made him uncomfortable. âI just donât understand ye, Tormod. Why dâye make trouble for yerself? Why can ye noâ just do like the rest oâ us? Be like the rest oâ us?â
I let my head fall back against the wooden pole, looking to the heavens for guidance. âDonât ye think I wish that, Torquil? To be different than I am? Ye donât know what itâs like to see things no one else does â to know things before they happen anâ have no way to prevent them. This is noâ something I chose or can control. The visions come to me. I donât court them. I donât even like them. But they are a part oâ me, as much as the color of my eyes or hair.â
He was quiet, brooding no doubt about my not falling in with his idea of what I should be or do. âWhathappened that day, Tormod? Where did ye go, anâ why did ye wait so long to come back?â
My stomach heaved. I had not spoken to him directly about any of the things that had befallen me and I wasnât sure I wanted to. Fear and distaste were rolling off of him. âItâs a long story,â I said, sighing.
âAye. Well, we seem to have a bit oâ time. Iâve noâ offered it much, but Iâve an ear to listen, if yeâre of a mind to tell.â His gaze was on me and I was torn. Torquil stood tall and strong at the wheel, and I missed