A Heart of Time Read Online Free

not know she—”
    “Some people don’t know until it’s too late, I’m afraid,” a doctor, not Ellie’s doctor, says.
    And just like that, my family has been broken apart before it was even united. The love of my life—the other half of my heart—has died. “Son, this is not an opportune time to discuss this with you, but time is of the essence. When her oxygen levels depleted, we placed Eleanor temporarily on a ventilator because she elected to donate her working organs if she were to pass. I wanted to inform you of this before we begin the procedure. The surgeon is on his way over as it needs to be handled right away.” There’s too much going through my mind to tell myself this is what Ellie would have wanted. This isn’t what I want. What about me? What about Olive? We were supposed to have all parts of her, and selfishly, I don’t want to give her parts to anyone else. I want her whole. I want her with me. Alive. I can’t do this without her. “I’ll give you a moment.”
    “So she’s still alive? I mean, her heart is still beating?” I ask, baffled. “Can she hear me? Are you sure she’s really gone? Didn’t you put her under general anesthesia? Maybe she just hasn’t woken up.”
    “This happened as we were preparing to put her under, son. I’m sure. We did several tests to confirm what we immediately assumed. Her heart is still beating but I’m afraid the rest of her is gone.”
    The room empties out around me, leaving me alone with my Ellie. My girl—the woman I knew I was placed on this earth for. I kneel back down by her bedside, unable to comprehend how we’ve gotten to this moment in time.
    Five hours ago, we were laughing at our favorite TV show. She was making a long list of baby names and spitting out the most ridiculous ones she could find in the baby-name dictionary. Five hours ago, our life was perfect.
    I always tried not to think that God didn’t want us to have a baby. We tried everything, including infertility treatments. Nothing worked, but we kept trying. Maybe we should have taken the hint. But we didn’t. We needed Olive. We needed her like we needed air to breathe, and now I know Olive really was Ellie’s air to breathe.
    “Ellie, baby, I never considered the thought of having to say goodbye to you today. How can I say goodbye? I don’t want to. I want to beg you to stay, but it won’t matter, will it? God. Life is cruel…so damn cruel. It shouldn’t have been like this.” I place my lips over her cool cheek. She’s gone. I can feel it. Her soul is gone. My beautiful Ellie is gone. I watch her for a moment, stupidly thinking…hoping…she’s just going to open her eyes. “Open your eyes,” I cry into her ear. “Please. I can’t do this without you.” My heart feels like someone just ripped it out through my throat and is now choking me with it. Everything hurts so damn much, and this isn’t a pain that will ever go away. “Ellie, I’m going to raise our little girl the way you wanted to raise her. She’s going to know everything about you—every single detail—right down to the heart-shaped freckle under your right eye. I won’t let you down. I won’t. Please, Ell, just know how much you are loved. I’ve loved you since the day we met, and I will love you until the day I die. You are my wife, my best friend. My forever. Just like I was your forever.”
    I really was her forever. We met on the first day of Kindergarten when we were five. We were best friends until high school, then boyfriend and girlfriend until our senior year of college when we got married. There was never anyone else…for either of us. We had our lives planned out, and this was supposed to be the beginning…not the end. I stand back up and place one more kiss on her forehead. Am I really saying good-bye to her right now? This isn’t real. This isn’t happening. Someone wake me up.
    But no one does. This is real. What was supposed to be the best day of my life just became