A Game of Sorrows Read Online Free

the news of your carry on.’
    I could feel the anger raging in my chest so I could hardly breathe. ‘Aye,’ I said, ‘tripping over each other and landing in a midden of their own making.’ I stood up. ‘So they think she’s beneath me, do they? Well, William, do you know why I have never yet spoken to her of it, of my feelings? Do you, William?’
    My friend shook his head wordlessly, somewhat taken aback by the force of my rage. I took a breath and spoke slowly, deliberately. ‘It is because I know her to be so far above me in every way, other than that of the station that fate has thrown her to, that I am too scared to speak lest I hear her say she will not have me.’ At that moment there was a firm knock at the door, and Davy entered with a tray bearing our dinner. William had long assured me that Davy was not as deaf as he pretended to be, and I suspected from the look on his face that he had heard every word of my outburst. As he turned to leave us he gave me a look I had rarely seen from him before: it was something approaching respect.
    ‘Sit down, Alexander,’ said William after the old man had gone.
    I did so slowly, looking all the while at some spot beyond my feet.
    ‘Would you not look at me?’ he said in frustration. So I did, and saw that his eyes were kind and there was a rueful smile about his mouth. ‘I would be the first to agree that Sarah is a much better person than those who would calumniate her. And remember, I myself married a maidservant. Since you brought her to our home, she has been a better help and friend to Elizabeth than I could ever have hoped for. She nursed my son when my wife was too ill to do it herself, and we both thank God every day that He sent her to us, through you, that our boy might live. Young Zander is as a brother to James, the brother he will never have.’ This I knew already, for Elizabeth had come so close to death in bringing James into the world that William had sworn he would never risk her in childbirth again. ‘No one knows better than I her qualities. And of course, she is beautiful too, which will not help her cause with many of the beetroot-faced dumplings of the burgh.’ I laughed, against my will, as did he. ‘But,’ he continued, ‘there are few know you better than I do either. And I tell you you are the best of men, whatever may have happened in the past; I know you to be the best of men, and so does she. Tell her of your feelings, before you are both too old and too set in your loneliness to live otherwise.’ He filled again the glass I had emptied, and lifted up his own towards me. ‘And do I have your word on
that
, Alexander?’
    I returned his toast. ‘You do, and I will do it tonight. I was – and believe me if you will – going to ask for an hour alone with her tomorrow, although after tonight’s reception I was near enough resolved to put it off again.’
    ‘Aye,’ mused William, ‘if you approach her before this misunderstanding – though whence it proceeds I don’t know – is made clear, there is no telling what harsh words might rain upon your ears.’ He glanced at me. ‘Women have a pride and a stubbornness that is beyond all comprehension, you know.’ I knew. ‘Let me talk to her tonight, talk to Elizabeth first, in fact. It must be that there was some visitor in town who looked very like you, who caused this rumpus last night. If I can persuade Elizabeth of the logic of that – and God help me for a night’s sleep if I cannot – then she will smooth your way with Sarah.’
    ‘Do you not think this tale has been spread about as an act of malice,’ I asked, ‘by some indweller who wishes me ill?’
    William shook his head again. ‘No. If it had just been the women at the marketplace, I might have thought so, but Davy had it from a crony of his who claims with his own eyes to have seen you hurled, indeed rolled, out of John Brown’s with curses at your back. There has been much muttering about the fall of man