02 Mister Teacher Read Online Free
Author: Jack Sheffield
Anne. ‘Or ants in her pants,’ said Sally.
‘More like nits in her knickers,’ said Vera, buttoning up her coat in a very determined way.
‘Oh, Vera!’ everyone chorused.
Occasionally, I reflected, even a vicar’s sister has her moments.
Chapter Two
The Sound of Ruby
County Hall requested a copy of our most recent school curriculum document. Miss Evans informed the School Maintenance Officer that we wish to proceed with the painting of the staff toilets
.
Extract from the Ragley School Logbook:
Wednesday, 20 September 1978
RUBY, THE CARETAKER , was singing ‘Edelweiss’ as she mopped the ladies’ toilet floor. It was the end of the school day and Ruby was in good voice.
I found myself humming along with her as I marked Tony Ackroyd’s English book. Tony had written ‘Christopher Columbus circumcised the globe’ and I put a tiny red question mark in the margin.
Ruby Smith was forty-five years old and had a heart of gold. At twenty stone, Ruby was a large lady but she skipped around the school like a dancer with her mop and galvanized bucket. On this sunlit September afternoon, she seemed to be working even harder than usual.
‘Ah’m trying t’finish a bit smartish if that’s all right, Mr Sheffield,’ said Ruby, her rosy cheeks glowing bright red.
‘That’s fine, Ruby,’ I replied. ‘Is it something special?’
‘Big night t’night in t’village ’all,’ shouted Ruby, as she moved out into the entrance hall and began to mop the wood-block floor with even greater effort.
Curious, I stood up and leaned round the staff-room door. ‘What’s happening tonight, Ruby?’ I asked.
‘It’s Talent Contest night, Mr Sheffield, an’ me an’ Ronnie are tekkin’ t’kids,’ explained Ruby.
With six children, life was always a struggle for Ruby, but somehow each day she managed to put food on the table for her family. Her eldest son, Andy, a strapping twenty-seven-year-old, was in the army, serving in Ireland, and her eldest daughter, Racquel, a twenty-five-year-old chocolate-sorter at the Joseph Rowntree factory, lived with her new husband in York. Her other four children, Duggie, Sharon, Natasha and Hazel, lived in their council house at number 7, School View. The youngest, Hazel, a cheerful, pink-cheeked five-year-old, attended Ragley School, while Sharon and Natasha were teenagers with a keen interest in local teenage boys. Duggie, a twenty-three-year-old undertaker’s assistant, was known by the affectionate nickname ‘Deadly’ Duggie. Ruby’s husband, Ronnie, was an unemployed pigeon-racer with a liking for football, the betting shop and Tetley’s bitter. Even so, Ruby loved them all. She asked for little, received less and gave a lot.
‘Sounds interesting, Ruby,’ I said. ‘I might even go myself.’
‘Y’could tek your young lady,’ added Ruby, with a cheerful chuckle.
I pretended to give her a stern look but privately admitted it was a good idea. Acting on impulse, I walked through to my office and picked up the telephone.
The headmistress at Thirkby Junior School had become accustomed to my calls. ‘I’ll get Miss Henderson to call you in about half an hour, after her netball practice, Mr Sheffield,’ she said.
The familiar butterflies in the pit of my stomach were there again when Beth finally called and I explained about the Talent Contest. There had been no contact for the past week but, surprisingly, she seemed relaxed.
‘I’d love to come, Jack,’ said Beth. ‘I’ll see you outside the village hall about twenty past seven.’
Once again, Beth filled my thoughts as I drove home to Kirkby Steepleton to wash and change.
On Ragley High Street, the end of another busy day was near at hand in Diane’s Hair Salon. This was a popular meeting place for all the women of Ragley village, and for a small number of adventurous young men with Kevin Keegan bubble-perms.
Diane Wigglesworth, a cheerful and friendly woman in her mid-forties, had left school with no
‘More like nits in her knickers,’ said Vera, buttoning up her coat in a very determined way.
‘Oh, Vera!’ everyone chorused.
Occasionally, I reflected, even a vicar’s sister has her moments.
Chapter Two
The Sound of Ruby
County Hall requested a copy of our most recent school curriculum document. Miss Evans informed the School Maintenance Officer that we wish to proceed with the painting of the staff toilets
.
Extract from the Ragley School Logbook:
Wednesday, 20 September 1978
RUBY, THE CARETAKER , was singing ‘Edelweiss’ as she mopped the ladies’ toilet floor. It was the end of the school day and Ruby was in good voice.
I found myself humming along with her as I marked Tony Ackroyd’s English book. Tony had written ‘Christopher Columbus circumcised the globe’ and I put a tiny red question mark in the margin.
Ruby Smith was forty-five years old and had a heart of gold. At twenty stone, Ruby was a large lady but she skipped around the school like a dancer with her mop and galvanized bucket. On this sunlit September afternoon, she seemed to be working even harder than usual.
‘Ah’m trying t’finish a bit smartish if that’s all right, Mr Sheffield,’ said Ruby, her rosy cheeks glowing bright red.
‘That’s fine, Ruby,’ I replied. ‘Is it something special?’
‘Big night t’night in t’village ’all,’ shouted Ruby, as she moved out into the entrance hall and began to mop the wood-block floor with even greater effort.
Curious, I stood up and leaned round the staff-room door. ‘What’s happening tonight, Ruby?’ I asked.
‘It’s Talent Contest night, Mr Sheffield, an’ me an’ Ronnie are tekkin’ t’kids,’ explained Ruby.
With six children, life was always a struggle for Ruby, but somehow each day she managed to put food on the table for her family. Her eldest son, Andy, a strapping twenty-seven-year-old, was in the army, serving in Ireland, and her eldest daughter, Racquel, a twenty-five-year-old chocolate-sorter at the Joseph Rowntree factory, lived with her new husband in York. Her other four children, Duggie, Sharon, Natasha and Hazel, lived in their council house at number 7, School View. The youngest, Hazel, a cheerful, pink-cheeked five-year-old, attended Ragley School, while Sharon and Natasha were teenagers with a keen interest in local teenage boys. Duggie, a twenty-three-year-old undertaker’s assistant, was known by the affectionate nickname ‘Deadly’ Duggie. Ruby’s husband, Ronnie, was an unemployed pigeon-racer with a liking for football, the betting shop and Tetley’s bitter. Even so, Ruby loved them all. She asked for little, received less and gave a lot.
‘Sounds interesting, Ruby,’ I said. ‘I might even go myself.’
‘Y’could tek your young lady,’ added Ruby, with a cheerful chuckle.
I pretended to give her a stern look but privately admitted it was a good idea. Acting on impulse, I walked through to my office and picked up the telephone.
The headmistress at Thirkby Junior School had become accustomed to my calls. ‘I’ll get Miss Henderson to call you in about half an hour, after her netball practice, Mr Sheffield,’ she said.
The familiar butterflies in the pit of my stomach were there again when Beth finally called and I explained about the Talent Contest. There had been no contact for the past week but, surprisingly, she seemed relaxed.
‘I’d love to come, Jack,’ said Beth. ‘I’ll see you outside the village hall about twenty past seven.’
Once again, Beth filled my thoughts as I drove home to Kirkby Steepleton to wash and change.
On Ragley High Street, the end of another busy day was near at hand in Diane’s Hair Salon. This was a popular meeting place for all the women of Ragley village, and for a small number of adventurous young men with Kevin Keegan bubble-perms.
Diane Wigglesworth, a cheerful and friendly woman in her mid-forties, had left school with no
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