The Year of the Sex Olympics and other TV Plays Read Online Free Page B

always existed, madam.
    LAVINIA : You have written against it.
    COBB : I have said it will come to an end. Not quite the same thing. Good or bad, it must end by being ridiculous. Machines will supplant it.
    SIR TIMOTHY : Machines.
    COBB : I’ve no possible doubt of it. The great steam pumps we see now—are going to have a million descendants. In a hundred years—in two, certainly—machines will do all the world’s fetching and carrying. They’ll be more obedient, loyal and industrious than any slaves in history. They’ll carry men through the air and over the seas.
    LAVINIA (disbelievingly) : Mr. Cobb—
    COBB : They’ll sow and reap for us—water the deserts—melt the polar snows—
    LAVINIA : All this with steam?
    COBB : There’ll be far greater forces.
    SIR TIMOTHY : The imponderables—
    COBB (losing patience) : No, sir. Powerful, real forces that actually exist—that must exist to bind this universe and to quicken it. The very sources of life. Man will find them in the end.
    SIR TIMOTHY : Yes, I suppose so, as each of us contributes his—
    COBB : My poor squire. Man will do it by using his mind utterly anew, plumbing the deepest levels of insight and reason— (He laughs) not by sniffing at those sorcerers’ jars. (Injured, Sir Timothy snatches up the box of jars) The nose will not serve, sir, but to find a bad smell. (Lavinia laughs with him as Sir Timothy kicks the door open and goes) ’Tis the brain must do it.
    INSIDE THE TAVERN BAR
    Men turn, wiping their mouths, as the squire makes for the outer door. Lukey bobs responsibly forward and signs to the others. They surge towards the door.
    OUTSIDE THE TAVERN
    Jethro scrambles to his feet as men straggle out of the tavern.
    INSIDE THE TAVERN BAR
    As Cobb and Lavinia follow, he catches her arm.
    COBB : Is your carriage here?
    LAVINIA : Yes, but we go to the woods on foot—
    COBB : The woods. Are we really bound to this buffoonery?
    LAVINIA : We?
    COBB : You and I. When I think of those wines of yours back at the Hall—
    LAVINIA (seeing the drift) : Oh, no—
    COBB : Lying untasted.
    For a moment, Lavinia is torn. Then there is a scuttle of feet as Tetsy runs from the doorway behind the bar, pulling a shawl about her.
    LAVINIA : Your world of machines—I think I should like that. (She watches Tetsy run on out, turns to him quickly) I can’t. Not yet. We must go with the others. Please. (He nods, humoring her. As they go) Perhaps there’ll even be philosophical machines.
    COBB : To do our thinking? (Pleased by the notion) Ay. At least they’d not believe in bogeys.
    He follows her out.
    OUTSIDE THE TAVERN
    Big Jeff is brandishing a pitchfork, stabbing ferociously at the air.
    BIG JEFF : Take that, you headless old horror, you. (Laughing to Sir Timothy) I’ll kill ’em dead all over again.
    SIR TIMOTHY : Careful with that—
    Lukey is issuing stout staffs and rakes and hoe-handles to the men.
    BIG JEFF : An’ nail ’em up like vermints to frikken their friends. How much’ll you gimmee for ’em, squire?
    SIR TIMOTHY : A shilling a head.
    BIG JEFF : Hey—what about the fellers as got none?
    SIR TIMOTHY : Shilling a body. (Turns to Lukey) Has each man got a staff now?
    Sam is the last to get one. As he turns with his, he finds Tetsy in front of him, the shawl pulled round her head.
    TETSY : What’s them for?
    SAM : Oh—makes the lads feel braver. In case, like.
    TETSY : Can I have one? Lukey—
    SAM : You ain’t comin’.
    TETSY : I am then, Lukey—
    SIR TIMOTHY : What’s this about?
    SAM : She wants to come, sir.
    TETSY (pointing to Lavinia) : If Lady Hassall can go, I can. I don’t get easy frikkened, sir—
    SIR TIMOTHY : Faith, let her come. (Turning to the rest) Now remember all what I said—no shouting, no laughing, and keep your ears open. We’re like to return no wiser than we are now—but let’s be sure. If you do hear anything, come to me at once. Now—two men to light the way. Lukey and another—
    Lukey and the lad pick up