The Private Affairs Of Lady Jane Fielding Read Online Free

moment. ‘He believes that I will be able to make love to you again, soon even.’
    I felt my face split by joy. ‘Truly? Oh Jacob, but this is wonderful news!’
    Jacob’s expression, however, showed no such joy. ‘He has his doubts though.’
    ‘But why?’
    ‘My…’ He breathed in sharply, and gnawed at his lip. ‘My manhood is blessedly undamaged now the swelling has receded.’ He paused and his face reddened. ‘Alas, the same cannot be said for my…stones.’
    I felt my own face redden. ‘Your…stones?’
    ‘One has been damaged more than the other.’ He looked at me searchingly. Searching for what I was unsure.
    So I asked, ‘What does this mean for us?’
    He tore his gaze away from me, his expression grim. ‘It means that though I may have the capability to make love to you, the desire to do so may be limited…and…’ he faded off, ‘my ability to sire a child may indeed be irreparably damaged.’
    It was too much to take. I clasped a hand over my mouth to stifle any audible expression of my dismay. ‘Does that mean that Arthur will be your legal heir now?’ The thought was repugnant.
    ‘Until we have a son, I am afraid, yes.’
    I stared at my husband with utmost horror. ‘No…we must — ’
    Jacob released a sad laugh. ‘My darling, we shall do all we can to prevent that from happening.’
    ‘But the physician said…’ My voice failed, and for a moment I was unable to speak. ‘Do you still desire me?’ I finally asked in a frightened voice. ‘Is the desire to make love to your wife still within you?’
    Jacob’s eyes softened. ‘Always,’ he murmured, and drew me back into his embrace. ‘How could it not be?’
    I lay down beside him, feeling the warmth of him soak through the bedding and clothing to my skin. His hand stroked me, and though it was neither the time nor place I found my body responding to his touch — as it always had.
    ‘Jacob,’ I breathed, as his hand ran the length of my side and clasped my breast, squeezing gently. ‘Can we try? I have been so lonely without you.’
    With my head against his chest, I heard the sharp intake of his breath and the increased beat of his heart. ‘My love, I know,’ he whispered, his hand coming to my cap and releasing my hair.
    He inhaled the perfume and kissed the top of my head. ‘I am just,’ his voice halted, ‘frightened, I suppose,’ he confided.
    ‘Frightened of what?’ I asked, looking up at him, uncertain what his answer should be.
    ‘That…that I will be not be stirred by you, that I will not satisfy you, that you will no longer admire me now I am so flawed. God save me, I seem frightened of everything.’
    His words touched me deeply, and I felt my chest constrict. ‘You always and ever shall satisfy me. I love you, Jacob.’
    ‘I know, and it makes me fear I shall fail you all the more.’
    ‘Never,’ I replied with more confidence than I realised I had.
    Without asking his permission, I sat up and began to unbutton his nightshirt. Though he’d had a month of bed rest, the fineness of his form never ceased to steal my breath. His chest, finely dusted by golden hair, was of such perfection it may have been carved in the days of the Roman pantheon. I ran my hands through that hair, and lingered on the hard tips of nipple. ‘You could never disappoint me, Jacob. Never.’ I lent my head and kissed those lean hard planes.
    His stomach convulsed and he cried out, ‘Janie, no.’
    I kissed a trail down to where the sheet covered his damaged manhood, and paused. I looked up and held his eyes with mine. ‘If you truly mean that, I shall stop,’ I whispered, ‘but you must know, stopping is the last thing I wish to do. I want to behold you with my own eyes. Let me love you. Nothing that happens will ever change how I feel, or how much I …’ My mouth dried. ‘Want you…Jacob, please…’
    The pain in his eyes brought a sympathetic tear to my own. ‘Janie,’ he groaned. ‘I don’t want to repulse