think my grandmother might’ve had an affair with your father and you’re just—just going to maul me?”
“Ms. Copeland, I’d maul you if your grandmother and my father were having an affair in this very room.” I took advantage of the smile that twitched on her face and stepped forward to slip a hand under her slouchy top. We’d changed after Jack left, and she’d picked something that doubled as pajamas and lounge wear. Soft, soft shirt, fuzzy pants with dancing sheep. About the most unsexy things known to man, and yet.
“I can’t compartmentalize you can, obviously.”
“I’d say this is a very large compartment, wouldn’t you?” Not caring if it was crude, I grabbed her hand and brought it to the steel pole tenting my pants. My idea of clothes to wear around the house and hers differed, but since we would soon be naked, I didn’t care.
Her fingers curled in and held even as she continued to try to get me to see reason. “We’re caught up in something so much bigger than us,” she said, and that hint of uncertainty swayed me more than any demands to be logical.
Fuck logic. What had it ever gotten me? Yes, I’d made more money than I ever dreamed, but I’d also spent too many years alone. Grace had pushed me past my limits over and over, and all I wanted was more.
Nothing with her would ever be enough.
“You wanted to know why I kept coming back to your classes. Year after year. You refuse to believe it’s because of your skill at teaching, and the joy you share every time you immerse yourself in your art. It’s your gift. You make people want to experience that happiness too.” I reached back to undo her messy braid. Half of her hair had come out of it, and she didn’t seem to notice or care. “But there was more.”
She’d begun to relax under my hands, but then she stiffened. “I knew it.”
“I know it’s hard to imagine it looking at my photos back then, but I didn’t exactly have my pick of the girls.”
She made a sound in her throat and ducked her head.
“Weird thing was, I didn’t care. I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend. Maybe I was too angry, too used to fending for myself to even think that someone would be able to deal with me. Besides, I had two hands.”
Her head came up, her gaze sharpening. I knew she was thinking about that night in my bathroom, just as I was. The night she’d asked me to jerk off for her pleasure, using my tie.
“Then I saw you. There was absolutely no reason for you to grab me the way you did. You seemed to have even less interest in the opposite sex than I did. All you cared about was what you built with your hands and your heart.”
Her lips trembled. “I was practically a child.”
“So was I, all things considered. You also loved your grandmother. I didn’t trust her, and I definitely wasn’t sure I liked her. But watching you with her, hearing you laugh, it did something to me.” I clamped my fingers around the end of her mostly deconstructed braid, using it to tug back her head so that her sea-colored eyes were on mine. “You want one of my secrets, Ms. Copeland?”
“You know I do. I want all of them.”
I couldn’t give her all. But I could give her this.
“Sure about that? You’re not going to like me very much afterward.” I brushed my fingers through her hair, spreading it over her shoulders.
“Who says I like you now?”
“Touché. I followed you. I tracked you, and I learned everything about you. You fascinated me on levels I’d never experienced before. Imagining you with another boy, thinking of him touching you,” I parted her full, pink lips and slid my finger inside, “of him having this, it made me crazy. And then when I discovered you didn’t care about boys, I became obsessed with being the one. The one who would have you first.”
She took a shuddery breath. “You’re right. I’m not liking you a lot right now.”
“Told you.”
“Is that how it always is with you? You have to plant a