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    Thomas shook his head, not giving Noah anything to work with. Those weren't his scenes at all. Besides...
    “There's someone else who's been on my mind. I just don't know if it's a good idea,” Thomas admitted, carrying the bowls over to the table.
    Noah slid off the stool and sashayed over. “Ohhh? You've never mentioned someone before.” His eyes gleamed with mischief. “Who is this person?”
    “It's... it's a long story,” Thomas laughed. “But I've been kind of avoiding them since... oh, August...”
    “ August ?” Noah dropped his fork in his bowl. “Jesus, Thomas, it's January! Did you ghost them?”
    “Ghost them?” Thomas didn't know that term.
    “Go offline, you know – block them or stop responding after a good date, with no explanation. Just vanish.”
    Thomas shook his head. “Not exactly.” He nibbled his lip, then dipped his fork into the pasta. “Bon appetit.”
    “Merci,” Noah winked. “But, man, it's already mid-winter. If you're still thinking about them...” He counted quickly on his fingers. “Four, five months later...?”
    Months? Try four or five years! “I know. It's stupid,” Thomas laughed. “But... maybe I'll try a date.”
    “They're still interested in you?”
    Oh, definitely. With the way Alex had looked him over at the bank... then winked at him on the way out... Alex was still interested.
    He was just waiting for Thomas to say the word. And he knew Alex was going to come into the bank next Thursday...
    Or maybe he shouldn't be looking to get over Alex by seeing him again. Maybe he should be looking for someone else. He had an online dating profile that he checked every week or two. He'd never had more than one or two dates with any guy he'd met through it. If he thought too hard about it, Thomas knew he'd always subconsciously compared them to Alex.
    Maybe he'd have another look, though.
    ***
    Once Noah was back with Cam and Thomas was alone in his house, he started up his laptop and navigated again to the dating site. He sprawled on the couch, the laptop on his stomach as he squinted at the screen. He awkwardly typed in the password, the screen rising and falling as he waited for it to load.
    A few new messages, but none of them were interesting. One was from a student. Technically, the guy was his own age, but Thomas was out of school and in a different stage of life. It just felt weird to date students. A couple were for hookups and not with anyone really appealing. Now and then, he added casual sex to the list of things he was looking for, but only once every few months, when his urges got too strong.
    There wasn't an easy way to say he only wanted to date men if they were a lot like... fucking Alex.
    “For fuck's sakes.” Thomas closed his laptop and dug out his phone, pressing it to his forehead for a second. He half-hoped Siri would whisper to him that this was a bad idea.
    With no enlightenment coming from the gadget, he unlocked it and opened a new text message. He added Alex's number.
    Good seeing you. Want to hang out?
    Thomas hesitated for a long minute, debating if he should add something: I'm still annoyed at you. Or worse yet, Do you miss me? He pressed “send” before he took back the decision. Then, he shoved the phone under himself and rubbed his face with a groan.
    He didn't trust himself to be alone with Alex. No matter how much some things about Alex annoyed him, his apology had been sincere. And as much as he hated that Alex had left him to train for his career in the big city and probably fuck guys who were properly gay, that had also been years ago.
    And they'd never fucked. As high school boyfriends, Thomas had always said no. He hadn't been ready for it. Unlike all his shitty peers, he'd never had a problem saying no and meaning it. And Alex had never pushed him hard. He'd coaxed now and then, but when it was clear that Thomas just wasn't into it, Alex had gracefully accepted that.
    Of course, Thomas had fucked other men