idiot if you don’t at
least give him a call and see where it goes.”
“How often do you imagine
I’m going to tell the story?” I ask. “Some guy thought I might be an easy
target, but I didn’t let myself get caught. That sounds like every story a
woman has ever told after going to a club. I’m not joking about Max,” I add.
“You dropped the f-bomb. Treats are on top of the refrigerator, in case you
forgot.”
“Just give me one good
reason why you won’t call him and I’ll leave you alone,” she says.
She’s lying.
“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” I ask.
Just because Naomi is the
most frustratingly lucky person I know doesn’t mean she’s any good with money.
She’s not so great about responsibility, either. It’s fifty-fifty she’s
supposed to be at work right now.
“The boss gave me a day ,” she says.
“What’d you do?” I ask.
The one breed of human
Naomi’s luck doesn’t seem to affect are her employers. They tend not to
appreciate the constant lateness, overbearing personality, and more than a few
have made the mistake of bringing up Naomi’s nose, lip, and eyebrow rings as a
bad thing. Those conversations never end well.
“I didn’t do anything ,” she says. “I’m being
rewarded.”
“Oh,” I say, and in a
slightly different tone, I ask again, “What’d you do?”
“Well,” she says, “it’s
not so much what I did.”
I’m going to hate this story; I know it.
“I was out at lunch with Kim, and she got into a little fender bender with a mailbox,” she says.
“Uh huh,” I respond,
unimpressed. “So what did you tell your boss happened?”
“That’s not the point,”
she says. “The point is that I have been through a traumatic experience, and I
just need a day to clear my head so I can come back to work with, you know …”
“A clear head?” I ask.
“I’ve looked through your ears. I’d say it’s pretty vacant up there as it is.”
“Kim’s fine, by the way,”
Naomi says, “not that you care or anything.”
“You just said it was a
minor fender bender with a mailbox? How injured could she possibly have been?”
I ask.
Naomi’s about to answer,
but her eyes go wide, and she pitches
forward as Max head-butts her directly in the posterior. I would catch her, but it’s more rewarding if I don’t.
“I told you,” I say. “If
you mention food around Max, you’ve got to follow through. He doesn’t take being teased lightly.”
“You’ve got to teach your
dog about personal space,” Naomi says, rubbing her butt before leaning back
against the counter as Max stares up at her with a beautiful, canine smile.
“Top of the fridge,” I
tell her. “It’s your only way out of this mess you’ve caused.”
“I love how everything’s
my mess ,” Naomi snarks.
I smile. “Me too,” I tell
her. “It’s always made me feel like the responsible one.”
“You’re a peach,” she
says.
Peach doesn’t mean peach.
“You know, it’s funny,”
she says.
“I bet it’s not,” I
answer.
She scoffs and says, “You
don’t even know what I was going to say.”
“Don’t need to,” I tell
her, shutting off the water. “Dry the dishes or don’t,” I say. “I’m done.”
She says, “It’s funny
that you chastise me for accidentally teasing Max by saying the word—”
“Oh, I really wouldn’t
repeat it,” I tell her as Max’s lips come together in anticipation of the treat
he is rightfully owed.
“You chastise me for
teasing Max with … that, but aren’t doing
the same thing to Nikolai?” she asks.
“I’m not even speaking to
him,” I tell her. “How is that teasing?”
“You took the card,” she
says. “If you weren’t going to call, why’d you take the card?”
“Someone hands you a
card, you take it,” I answer. “Besides, you’ve been bugging me so much about it
that I tore the card up days ago.”
Naomi says, “That is the
stupidest—whoa!”
Max is trying to show Naomi
how