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the many rumours flying around the school. One of my earliest
memories was making friends with Tom on the first day of grade one before
classes started. He'd just sort of attached himself to me, cheering me up with
his humour. At lunchtime, Tom had noticed Cass crying by herself into her
sandwich, and called her over to join us. The three of us had been best friends
ever since.
    One thing I loved most about our relationship was living
vicariously through Cass's love life. She was such a beautiful girl, as much on
the outside as she was inside. With her stunning figure, tumbling mane of red
hair and big blue eyes that could light up a room, she had guys lining up for
her attention everywhere she went. Every week she had a different story about a
boy she had hooked up with. I got more entertainment out of listening to Cass
than any reality show could ever provide for me.
    Between the stories I'd heard from her and Gran, I was pretty
sure I never wanted to date again.
                                                          
     

Chapter Three
    My heart twinged as I read over Simon's messages. Did I
really have a crush after a few simple flirty emails? Or was I just reading
into things to avoid thinking about Derek?
    God maybe my grandmother was right, maybe I did need to get
laid. I glanced at the clock on the oven. Almost eight. The girls would be here
soon, though probably fifteen minutes late, knowing Cass. In all my life I'd
never met anyone as unaware of time as Cass. She was never on time, to the
point where Tom and I often told her fifteen minutes earlier so we didn't have
to wait.
    I put the finishing touches on the food, and carried them
over to the table with Carol darting in and out of my legs like it was a race.
I swear the cat was trying to trip me.
    “Okay Carol, come over here.”
    She bounced over to her food bowl and waited anxiously while
I poured in some biscuits. I swear she looked up at me gratefully as she chewed
down mouthfuls of salmon flavoured delights.
    I could hear the girls giggling in the hallway five minutes
before they reached my apartment. I did what I had to when anyone other than my
tight circle of friends came over. I popped a pill. I waited anxiously for them
to reach the door. Do I open now? Do I wait? The indecision was making me feel
sick. The pill was slowly kicking in, I could feel the anxiety easing. I know
longer felt like it was suffocating me. Now it was just there. Waiting.
    “There are other residents to consider, you know, girls. Get
in here.” I teased, holding the door open. I forced a smile. They shuffled in,
kissing and hugging me on the way.
    “Mel was just telling us about her new boyfriend.”
    “I’ve seen him twice. He is hardly my boyfriend.” She argued,
unable to keep the smile off her face. They shuffled out of their coats and
hung them on the back of the door.
    “Tell me about him. How did you meet?” I pushed them toward
the couch, motioning to the food and glasses. I just needed them to sit down
and focus on something that wasn't me. Cass set the alcohol down on the table,
and poured a glass of wine for each of us. She glanced at me. I knew my mask
didn't work on her. She was too in tune with me.
    “There is not much to tell. I met him at the gym. He is a
few years older than me, he works in a stockbroking firm.” She shrugged her
shoulders. “He’s nice. I'm seeing him again on Sunday.”
    We all giggled at Mel's attempts to sound casual. She was
clearly crushing on the guy. I began to settle down as the girls chatted
amongst themselves. It was enough just to reduce it down to a level I could
handle. My nerves were slowly settling back into their places. The anxiety
never left though. I rarely felt no effects of the anxiety, even with the
medication. 
    “I haven't seen you this way since Bill Pompton in year
six.” Kally snorted, ducking as her sister tried to swat her.
    “Bill Pompton!”