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conditions?’
    ‘No, she hasn’t got any medical conditions.’ I leant heavily against one of the marquee’s poles and just as quickly straightened up. ‘Course she’s at bloody risk, she’s missing!’ I shoved my shoulders back. ‘I saw someone talking to Amy earlier. A woman.’ She nodded. ‘She was wearing a black coat and I think she might have bribed her with a lolly.’
    ‘How do you know she gave her a lolly?’
    ‘She had one in her hand.’
    ‘So you spoke to Amy after her meeting with this woman?’
    ‘Yes, I saw her talking to her and ran in Amy’s direction. When I did find Amy, the woman had gone.’ I paused. ‘But …’
    ‘But what?’ She shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
    ‘Amy told me she hadn’t spoken to anyone.’
    ‘And you’re sure she had definitely spoken with a woman?’
    I squinted at her. ‘Yes, I’m not delusional.’ But even as I spoke, the fuzziness started up, the tingling at my temples. Had I imagined it ? ‘I have this feeling I know this woman.’ I looked up. ‘I think she’s come back for me.’
    I held my head in my hands, willing the tingling to go away. I couldn’t have a panic attack now and not after all this time; what if the court found out? Why would they hand me my child if the attacks were back?
    ‘Who, Ms Fraiser?’ When I didn’t answer she said, ‘Are you feeling OK?’
    I looked at her, terrified that the attack would get worse. My hands were trembling, the grass was shifting in front of me. I rammed my hands into my hair and dug my nails into my scalp, willing myself not to black out. The ringing was intensifying in my ears and I could hear my shallow breathing. I needed to control it.
    The detective was behind me now, her hand on my back. ‘I’ll get help.’
    ‘No,’ I whispered. ‘I’ll be fine. Can you just get me a glass of water?’
    She looked at me intently for a moment and nodded before walking off. As soon as she had left I forced my shoulders back and exhaled and inhaled loudly until the ground started to come into focus, the ringing had dimmed and as the DI reappeared, a gust of air cooled the sweat on my face.
    ‘OK?’ She shoved the glass in my direction.
    I nodded.
    ‘OK, what were you saying about the woman?’
    ‘When I was at university,’ I started. My lower lip trembled. ‘I witnessed my friend die. Cold-blooded murder. I think the woman was there but I don’t know, I blacked out at the time. The whole thing was like a dream.’ I paused. ‘A nightmare.’ I shook my head, tried to physically remove the fog that descended every time I thought of that night. A coping mechanism, the Priory therapist Dr Hurst, had said: a way of protecting myself.
    The DI clenched her jaw, started scribbling madly again in her notebook. ‘Why are you relating the two?’ Her eyes bored into me. I could tell her mind was already running my profile through the system: she wouldn’t find anything.
    I leant against the pole again. ‘I don’t know. The woman’s voice was so familiar.’
    ‘You heard her voice?’
    ‘She rang me just before Amy disappeared.’ I bit my lip. ‘Although, why the woman would know my number …’ My voice trailed off. Maybe I was imagining things, maybe it was another trick of my imagination. It wasn’t feasible, was it? ‘No, I don’t know what I’m talking about.’ I paused. ‘But there was something about her voice.’
    The DI’s shoulders visibly tensed. ‘Why do you think Amy said she didn’t speak to a woman?’
    ‘I guess she didn’t want to get into trouble.’
    ‘Maybe she genuinely didn’t?’
    She didn’t have to say it: she thought I was delusional. Maybe I hadn’t seen the woman. Maybe because it’s my birthday, I’m remembering … She died on your birthday twenty years ago. I shook my head hard; I didn’t want to remember. Amy was missing but it has nothing to do with the night Bethany died.
    My heart twisted when I thought how angrily I’d spoken