twenty-four-hour cable news channels are killing us, and weâve got to do everything we can to fight back. Folks want to read about something besides organized crime, political corruption, and burned-up babies. Youâre overspecialized, Mulligan. Iâm trying to help you out here.â
âPeople are dying, boss.â
âAnd you think you can stop it? Youâve got an inflated opinion of yourself. Investigating fires is the arson squadâs job. After they solve this thing, you can write about it.â
âLet me tell you about the arson squad,â I said, and gave Lomax a quick rundown on the Polecki-Roselli vaudeville act.
âJesus Christ!â he said. âWhy the hell donât you write that story?â
âYeah. Okay. How about for Sunday?â
âFirst the dog story. Today, Mulligan. Donât make me talk to you about this again.â
He dropped his hands to his keyboard, a signal that our talk was over. Iâd never heard Lomax put so many words together. Maybe nobody had. I figured I better do as I was told.
*Â Â *Â Â *
Maybe the star of the dog story would turn out to be a Portuguese water dog, I thought as I headed for the Bronco. Dorcas had custody of ours, a six-year-old psycho named Rewrite. I missed that dog. I would have paid the pooch a visit, but that would have meant running into Dorcas. Iâd rather run headfirst into a train.
Dorcas didnât like the dog, but she kept him for the same reason she wouldnât let me have my turntable, my blues LPs, my collection of Dime Detective and The Black Mask pulp magazines, and the hundreds of tattered Richard S. Prather, Carter Brown, Jim Thompson, John D. MacDonald, Brett Halliday, and Mickey Spillane paperbacks Iâd been picking up at flea markets since I was a kid. Anything to punish me.
Dorcas had seemed to be a perfectly decent human being until she woke up married to me. Once the rice was tossed and she figured sheâd hooked me for life, she grew a pretty impressive set of horns. Suddenly, I spent too many hours at work. I didnât make enough money. I never touched her. I groped her nonstop. I didnât love her. I smothered her with love. She accused me of bedding every female from Westerly to Woonsocket, and those I hadnât conquered were on my list: the dental hygienist, the supermarket bagger, her friends, her sisters, the Channel 10 weather girl, the mayorâs daughter, the models in the Victoriaâs Secret catalog. I had boinked or was planning to boink them all.
After a year of it, I dragged her to a marriage counselor, who wasted several sessions listening to her tales of my rampant infidelity. When he finally caught on and suggested she might have jealousy issues, she branded him an idiot and refused to go anymore. The last six months of our marriage settled into a familiar pattern: Dorcas would say I thought she was an unattractive shrew and must be cheating on her, and I would tell her she was wrong.
Until she wasnât wrong anymore.
I had just turned onto Pocasset Avenue when the police scanner crackled. Someone had pulled a fire alarm in Mount Hope. I slowed, ignoring the honking behind me on the two-lane street, and waited for the first engine on the scene to broadcast the code. âCode Yellowâ would mean false alarm. âCode Redâ would mean no dog story this morning.
It came in four minutes, by the digital clock on the dash.
6
I made an illegal U-turn in front of a boarded-up Delâs Lemonade stand and headed back at forty, a reckless speed on a frigid day that had turned yesterdayâs slush into icy ruts. I held the wheel tight as Secretariat, his suspension beaten to mush by too many Rhode Island pothole seasons, bounced hard enough to loosen my fillings. At the intersection of Dyer and Farmington, I blasted my horn at a stooped old man painting a snowbank yellow with his dachshund.
Turning onto Doyle Avenue in Mount