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band rehearsal to Thursday. I don’t want to see Justin. I wish that I didn’t have to see him at school tomorrow either. But, of course, I will.
    We’re always passing each other in the halls.
    Wednesday 4/28
    7:30 P.M.
    Nancy Mercado came over to our table at lunch to talk to Amalia. Their families are friends.
    Nancy was telling Amalia about her sister’s baby shower. In the middle of a sentence, Nancy switched to Spanish. Amalia started speaking Spanish too. Suddenly, Nancy went back to
    English and apologized to Sunny, Dawn, and me. I guess she could tell by the expressions on our faces that we didn’t understand what she and Amalia were saying.
    When we were walking to our next class, Dawn said she thought Nancy was nice.
    “She is,” Amalia said.
    Then I said I thought Nancy and Justin were going out.
    Amalia said Nancy hadn’t mentioned it to her.
    “Maybe that was because Nancy knew that Justin and Maggie had a thing,” Dawn suggested.
    “But that’s history,” I said. “And it wasn’t much of a thing anyway.” Then I changed the subject.
    Amalia gave me a look that said, You just changed the subject . But she let me get away with it.
    I wish I could tell Amalia about the confused feelings I have for Justin. But I don’t have the words to explain them.
    I can’t even explain it in my diary.
    Thursday 4/29
    3:30 P.M.
    I’m so nervous about going to band rehearsal.
    Justin will be there.
    Are we going to ignore each other?
    Won’t everyone notice?
    How can we go on being in the same band?
    COUNTING
    You …
    Me …
    And Nancy
    Makes three.
    Her plus you
    Makes two.
    One. Two. Three.
    Was it ever you plus me?
    One. Two.
    What am I supposed to do?
    One.
    9:30 P.M.
    Rehearsal was way weird.
    When Amalia and I got to Rico’s garage, Justin was already in his usual spot, tuning up his guitar. I thanked everyone for changing practice for me.
    Rico, Patti, and Bruce said things like, “No problem.” Justin didn’t even look up from his guitar.
    I knew then for sure that he had seen me seeing him kissing Nancy.
    After going over our old material, we practiced a couple of new songs.
    When Rico called a break, I stayed at the piano and waited to see where Justin would go. But he didn’t budge either. I figured he was waiting to see where I went so he could continue to avoid me.
    Meanwhile, Amalia and Rico huddled in a corner to go over some Vanish paperwork, and Patti and Bruce made a beeline for the snacks.
    Justin fiddled with his guitar.
    I finally stood up and made my way to the garage entrance, which was as far as I could be from Justin without leaving altogether.
    I heard someone behind me. I turned around and found myself face-to-face with Justin.
    He handed me a soda.
    I took it, said thanks, and turned around again.
    “How’s it going?” he asked.
    “Fine,” I answered, without looking at him.
    “Big party at your house tomorrow.”
    “Yeah,” was all I replied.
    I didn’t say how I hate those parties. I don’t know if I ever told Justin that. What did we talk about when we were “going out”?
    “Maggie, I think I should explain,” he said. “About Nancy. We’re sort of — ”
    I put up my hand to stop him and said, “You don’t have to explain anything to me. Really.”
    “But I want to. I was going to tell you, and then you saw — ”
    I faced him and made myself smile. “Justin, that’s great. You and Nancy. She’s terrific.”
    “I guess we’re sort of going out,” he said.
    “Let’s go, guys,” Rico called. “We have a lot of material to cover.”
    “Coming!” I replied, then flashed Justin a parting smile, and went back into the garage ahead of him.
    The first number we played after the break was “Touching.” It killed me to have to sing it. I’d been thinking of Justin when I wrote it. Now all I could think was, it’s true. Justin was kissing Nancy. There’s no romance between him and me anymore.
    How am I supposed to pretend I have all these romantic