Lying on the Couch Read Online Free

rules. Yes, it worked! It worked for Dr. Hill's patients and it worked for Belle, who carried around my handkerchief and gradually gained more control over her impulsiv-ity. Her 'slips' became less frequent and soon we could begin to turn our attention elsewhere in our therapy hours.
    "What? Merely a transference cure? Something about this is really getting to you, Ernest. That's good—it's good to question. You have a sense for the real issues. Let me tell you, you're in the wrong place in your life—you're not meant to be a neurochemist. Well, Freud's denigration of 'transference cure' is almost a century old. Some truth to it, but basically it's wrong.
    "Trust me: if you can break into a self-destructive cycle of behavior—no matter how you do it—you've accomplished something important. The first step has got to be to interrupt the vicious circle of self-hate, self-destruction, and then more self-hate from the

    Lying on the Couch r=*=^ ^ 3
    shame at one's behavior. Though she never expressed it, imagine the shame and self-contempt Belle must have felt about her degraded behavior. It's the therapist's task to help reverse that process. Karen Horney once said ... do you know Horney's work, Ernest?
    "Pity, but that seems to be the fate of the leading theoreticians of our field—their teachings survive for about one generation. Horney was one of my favorites. I read all of her work during my training. Her best book, Neuroses and Human Growth, is over fifty years old, but it's as good a book about therapy as you'll ever read—and not one word of jargon. I'm going to send you my copy. Somewhere, perhaps in that book, she made the simple but powerful point: 'If you want to be proud of yourself, then do things in which you can take pride.'
    "I've lost my way in my story. Help me get started again, Ernest. My relationship with Belle .^ Of course, that's what we're really here for, isn't it? There were many interesting developments on that front. But I know that the development of most relevance for your committee is physical touching. Belle made an issue of this almost from the start. Now, I make a habit of physically touching all of my patients, male and female, every session—generally a handshake upon leaving, or perhaps a pat on the shoulder. Well, Belle didn't much care for that: she refused to shake my hand and began making some mocking statement like, 'Is that an APA-approved shake?' or 'Couldn't you try to be a little more formal?'
    Sometimes she'd end the session by giving me a hug—always friendly, not sexual. The next session she'd chide me about my behavior, about my formality, about the way I'd stiffen up when she hugged me. And 'stiffen' refers to my body, not my cock, Ernest—I saw that look. You'd make a lousy poker player. We're not yet at the lascivious part. I'll cue you when we arrive.
    "She'd complain about my age-typing. If she were old and wizened, she said, I'd have no hesitation about hugging her. She's probably right about that. Physical contact was extraordinarily important for Belle: she insisted that we touch and she never stopped insisting. Push, push, push. Nonstop. But I could understand it: Belle had grown up touch-deprived. Her mother died when she was an infant, and she was raised by a series of remote Swiss governesses. And her father! Imagine growing up with a father who had a germ phobia, never touched her, always wore gloves in and out of the home. Had the servants wash and iron all his paper currency.

    14 ' ^ . Lying on the Couch
    "Gradually, after about a year, I had loosened up enough, or had been softened up enough by Belle's relentless pressure, to begin ending the sessions regularly with an avuncular hug. Avuncular? It means 'like an uncle.' But whatever I gave, she always asked for more, always tried to kiss me on the cheek when she hugged me. I always insisted on her honoring the boundaries, and she always insisted on pressing against them. I can't tell you how many little