Lost Along the Way Read Online Free

would’ve done the same thing. Loyalty wasn’t really something they cared about. Hell, half of them had husbands who were blatantly cheating on them, and they couldn’t have cared less as long as their credit cards worked. She’d never heard from Mindy, Heather, or Christie with an i-e about the benefit, and none of them had returned her phone calls when she left messages. She hated herself for hoping that they’d still want to associate with her—that they wouldn’t hold her accountable for her husband’s sins. It was a completely ridiculous thought. They didn’t care whether Jane was innocent or guilty. They’d disowned Gretchen because she couldn’t spell.
    Jane had dreamed of traveling in the higher circles of New York society her whole life, and once she’d gotten there, she’d learned that she was basically on her own. Just because peopleinvited her and Doug to dinner didn’t mean they were her friends. Then again, just because Doug was her husband didn’t mean he was her friend, either. Maybe she should stop being angry at the pod people she had chosen to surround herself with over the last few years and start being mad at the people who deserved it: Cara and Meg, for not being with her when she needed them most.
    Jane had been trying to figure out for years when exactly they’d started to grow apart, and how much of it was actually her fault. There was never a big fight. As far as she was concerned, no one had done anything that could’ve been seen as unforgivable, though she wondered now if maybe they felt differently. Their separation had been gradual and graceful. It had probably started as early as their freshman year of college, toward the end of the first semester, when Cara had called Jane and told her she was thinking of transferring from Bowdoin to NYU.
    November 1994
    â€œWhat do you mean, you don’t like it? You’ve been there for one semester; you can’t know if you like it or not,” Jane said defensively, cringing a little at the sound of her own voice. She knew it wasn’t what Cara wanted to hear, but she was unable to stop herself from saying it anyway.
    â€œYou sound like my mother. I don’t care that it’s only been one semester. I know enough to know that I don’t like it. It’s cold here.”
    â€œNew York is no warmer, I assure you.”
    â€œYou come to school up in Maine in the winter and tell me that. And why do I feel like you’re trying to talk me out of this? I thought you’d be excited to hear that I was thinking of trans ferring to NYU. Why do you sound like I just ruined your day?” Cara sounded offended, which was silly. Jane was merely trying to point out that expecting her to serve as Cara’s de facto security blanket was a bit ridiculous. Jane loved Cara, but they needed to learn how to live their own lives. It was as simple as that.
    â€œThat’s not true. Of course I’d be happy if you came here, it’s just that you were so excited to go to school up there. I don’t want you to give up before you really give it a chance.”
    â€œIf you don’t want me to transfer there, why don’t you just say so?” Cara insisted. It was clear that short of Jane’s telling Cara she’d kick out her current roommate and let Cara move in, there was no way of getting out of this conversation without coming off as selfish. She wasn’t selfish. She was just more concerned with her own happiness than with Cara’s at the moment, which was perfectly within her rights as a newly independent eighteen-year-old girl. Why was that such a hard thing to understand?
    â€œCara, stop. That’s not what I said.” Which was true. She might’ve been thinking it, but she never said it out loud.
    â€œYou didn’t have to,” Cara said quietly. She hung up the phone before Jane had a chance to answer.
    Jane put the cordless