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wouldn’t happen, but that it would. Think of that, Lloyd; I actually prayed. I tried to get God on the side of that monstrous thing! I’ve never done that before! With anyone! Except as my vows permitted, except in marriage, I mean! Do you understand what I’m saying? Do you believe me?”
    “I knew it without your telling me.”
    “Lloyd, it’s the truth.”
    “Speaking of God—”
    “You believe in Him, don’t you?”
    “Yes ... You know who invented what we did?”
    “What do you mean, invented! ”
    “ He did.”
    “That’s a strange idea.”
    “Well? Who else? Who else could have? The greatest invention in the history of the world. Or maybe you know a better one?”
    “Just the same, it was wrong.”
    “Are you sure?”
    “It was invented partly to test us.”
    “How do you know it was?”
    “That’s the terrible part. It seemed so right! ”
    “Can we get on, Hortense?”
    “On? To what?”
    “The nitty-gritty.”
    “Which is?”
    “I was hit by a truck. What were you hit by?”
    “... a truck.”
    With that, we stopped talking. We held each other close again, then pulled back and looked at each other. After awhile she whispered: “The biggest truck in the world, so big it frightens me. But because it was big, we must do what it says we must. We have to be true to it, Lloyd. We must know it was a truck, not just a motorbike.”
    “What are you getting at?”
    “It must never happen again.”
    “I don’t get the connection.”
    “If it was that big, it had to mean something. And if it did, we dare not besmirch it. If it was just desire, then it was cheap and meaningless. But you say you were hit by a truck, and I certainly was. So it was big. So it took us, without any warning. But now we are warned. We know what can happen. We’re no longer caught by surprise. So, all right, about what happened, life is like that. Perhaps God will forgive us. But it cannot—must not—ever happen again.”
    I’m trying to remember what she said, but even now it blurs for me. One thing doesn’t necessarily lead to another. But at the time, I didn’t argue. I just said: “That’s how you want it?”
    “It’s how it has to be.”
    “O.K., then, so be it. Kiss me.”
    She kissed me in a happy, carefree way, whispering: “That’s one thing about you, Lloyd, that I could feel from the moment I laid eyes on you. You’re decent.”
    “Climb on.”
    “On? Where?”
    “My stomach.”
    “Do you mean what I think you mean?”
    “I have impulses.”
    “But you just promised that it would not happen again.”
    “I promised that you wouldn’t be raped, and you won’t be. So climb on. Girl on top can’t be raped. All she need do is slide off.”
    “Dear God, please don’t let me.”
    “Suppose He’s pulling for me?”
    “Lloyd, please don’t make me!”
    “I’m inviting you, that’s all. I can have it engraved, if you like, but it takes a little time and—”
    “You’re tempting me!”
    “Damn it, get on!”
    “Oh!... Oh!... Ohhh!”
    It lasted longer that time, but then we were quiet and she lay in my arms again. I said: “Suppose I told you that I loved you? Would you laugh at me?”
    “I’d bat you one if you didn’t.”
    “O.K., then, that’s settled.”
    “Swak.”
    “Could I have that again?”
    “S-W-A-K. Sealed With A Kiss. You love me, and that makes me happy.”
    “O.K., that covers me. How about you?”
    “Lloyd, don’t make me say it.”
    “Why me and not you?”
    “I’m married. That’s why not me.”
    “Let’s go into that.”
    “Please. I don’t want to.”
    “We have to.”
    “Then all right, let’s. But there’s nothing to say. I’m married. If I was so stupid, so utterly without sense, as to forget it for that long and then forget it once again—I’m still married. That’s the beginning of it, and the end. There’s nothing more to say.”
    “How tight?”
    “What do you mean, ‘how tight’?”
    “Does he do it to you or