Imminent Danger: And How to Fly Straight Into It Read Online Free

says?”
    “He is captain,” the alien replied.

    Eris was confined to her gum ball cell once again. Emotionally drained from her encounter with Captain Hroshk, she sprawled across the spongy bottom of the sphere and closed her eyes. Go to private school, Mom told me, she thought. It’ll be so much fun! You’ll meet new people, learn exciting things. Oh, yes, and there’s a slight chance of alien abduction. Be safe, honey! Make good choices!
    Eris wondered if she’d ever see her mother again. It seemed unlikely. Then again, she had never gotten along all that well with her mother, so maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. Will anyone besides my mother even care I’m gone? She didn’t have any friends at school, although she supposed Lisa came the closest. And isn’t that a sad commentary on my life?
    A few minutes later, the cell door spiraled open. A scaly alien hand reached in to tip a covered bowl and a plastic bottle on a metal tray over the door’s sill. As the portal spiraled shut, the tray slid down to Eris.
    Pushing aside her depressing thoughts, Eris grabbed the bottle and unscrewed the lid. The container was filled with a transparent, odorless liquid. Hoping it was water and not poison, she took a gulp. It tasted like water, although it left a fishy aftertaste in her mouth.
    The bowl was filled with a mess of slimy, blue, unappetizing sludge. Eris poked it tentatively. It wiggled. Space jelly. Of course. Although the blue jelly looked disgusting, Eris was so hungry that her survival instinct won out over her squeamishness. She dug her hand into the cold, gooey substance and stuffed a handful into her mouth. It tastes like cinnamon! Eris slurped up the rest.
    Not long after her meal, Eris realized she had to go to the washroom. She held on as long as she could, but when her bladder couldn’t stand it anymore, she rapped her fist on the cell door.
    The portal soon spiraled open to reveal one of the reptilian aliens. “I need to use the washroom,” she said.
    The alien stared at her.
    “The toilet,” Eris clarified. “I need to use it. Now.”
    The creature reached in, grasped her arm, and yanked her from the cell. They must be getting fond of me , Eris thought. Now they only leave yellow bruises on my arms when they grab me, not purple.
    The guard dragged her across the cell block’s central room and shoved her toward a cell while hissing, “This is the cleanser. Be quick.”
    Eris ventured inside the cleanser. It was a small, circular room with various metal protrusions on the walls. Not sure how to proceed, she muttered, “Where the heck is the toilet?”
    A narrow basin swung out from the wall, situated around knee-height. Okay, so clearly this is the toilet, Eris thought. This place must be voice-activated. But how do I use it?
    She ended up kicking off her pants and squatting over the basin, using some of the metal protrusions—which turned out to be handholds—to keep herself upright while she did her business. There was no toilet paper, but when Eris straightened up, the basin blasted a wave of air at her that somehow accomplished the same job. Alien toilets are weird, Eris thought as she pulled her pants back on and hurried from the strange little room.
    The guard was waiting for her outside the cleanser, and he returned Eris to her cell. Looking around the empty room, Eris found she was exhausted. She had no idea what time it was, so with nothing better to do, she curled up at the bottom of the blue sphere and fell asleep.

    When Eris awoke and asked to go to the washroom again, her guard hissed, “I will leave your cell unlocked. Use the toilet as often as you wish. But do not mistake me, human. You will be disciplined harshly if you attempt to escape.”
    Judging by the look in his cold, reptilian eyes, Eris felt certain he wasn’t kidding.
    Now that she was allowed into the central room, Eris decided to take the opportunity to learn more about her captors. Cautiously approaching the