I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies...: How to find love & sh*t like that Read Online Free Page A

And, you’re constantly fidgeting and adjusting your clothes like a life-threatening tic. This kind of negative energy doesn’t fly in the dating world. Guys will pick up on your insecurities faster than they’ll say “I’ll just pull out.” In order for guys to appreciate you for you, you first need to figure out how to treat and love your body like it’s a temple, or an iPhone before the new version comes out and you stop giving a shit about cracking your screen.
    That said, a central tenet of being a betch is being the hottest version of yourself and always making sure your look says what you want it to say. That is, “I give a shit about how I present myself and I want people to be intimidated and envious of me.” If you think you’re fat, lose weight. If you think your nose sucks, get a nose job. If you think your style sucks, read a fucking magazine and go shopping.
    Don’t bitch about how being fat means no one will love you and then order cheese fries. It’s all about identifying what it is that bothers you about yourself and then attacking that issue head on. Even excuses like “I can’t afford a gym membership” don’t work because you can always work harder, take a night shift somewhere, read your company’s health insurance policies more carefully, and finagle yourselfa monthly membership somewhere. Equinox isn’t the only one to “make you do it.” Plus, doing crunches in your apartment is like, free.
    Shit Crazy Bitches Do: Play the Victim
    We all know the girl who plays the victim when it comes to anything that requires self-improvement and self-motivation. Ugh I just can’t get up before work to go to the gym, I need sleep!; I think I have ADD, I can never concentrate on any Times articles; Honestly, I think I’m just allergic to vegetables at this point. This girl exists and is very annoying because in the same sentence she’ll say I’m getting fat . . . I never know what’s going on in the news . . . I eat so hashtag unclean. The victimized betch is the worst because she will announce her issues to everyone and it’s like, A) we don’t fucking care and B) you’re clearly lazy. The thing about laziness is that it’s totally okay to be lazy, you just have to own it. Yeah we can’t get up in the morning at five a.m. to run, most sane people can’t. The difference is that we forgo quality Bravo & couch time to do like, one hundred squats after work. It takes skill to be a betch the right way, and this girl has it very wrong. Take some responsibility for your own choices, Karen.
    Every betch should pride herself on a few things she does really well. If you think you’re funny, by all means be the fat funny girl and people will care less about your weight. If you think you’re pretty and that’s where you get your confidence,first we suggest getting another hobby because everyone eventually grows old and looks like shit and you need something to fall back on. If you think you’re smart, read more. Everyone is good at something (if you can’t think of anything, call your mom), and it’s about drawing confidence from the shit you’re good at and working to accept the shit you’re decent at if you can’t fix it. You can’t be ugly and stupid. Pick a struggle.
    Nicegirls and insecure people bitch about the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show because it makes them insanely jealous to see beautiful women being admired by the entire world. These girls are missing the point. Yes, VS models are the most beautiful women in the world, but it takes a combination of natural genetic gifts and hard work to stay that way. Look at Olympic athletes. Are there thousands of women bitching about not being the best cross-country skiers in the world? No, because we accept that there are some things we’re never going to be the best at. So do the same with your looks. Look at the models and actresses in Hollywood the same way. They are good at what they’re good at, and you’re good at what