Humble Boy Read Online Free

them, being half way to orphan status myself. I like the secondhand nature of it all. Used goods do have a special appeal all of their own, don’t they? ( He spots the jug of drink. ) Ah, nectar! It’s a scorcher today, isn’t it? Of course it’s the summer solstice. The longest day. It’s all downhill from now on. ( He helps himself to a drink. )
    Flora    ( a slight edge ) You’re very honey-tongued today, Felix … But I think you should calm yourself, don’t you?
    Felix    Oh I am calm. I am wonderful. And you are looking ravishing, Mother, if I may say so.
    Flora    Thank you.
    Felix    Not even a hint of widow’s weeds.
    Flora laughs.
    Flora    ( a little forced ) He’s only joking.
    Felix    Oh yes, it’s all in jest. Now how are you? How is your fleet, George Pye?
    George    What?
    Felix    Pye’s Coaches.
    George    Well, I’m semi-retired now. Some other bugger does the dog work for me. I still do the odd Oxford run though, if we’re short. I’m not proud. Can’t quite hang up the old driving gloves, you see.
    Felix    No, I bet you can’t. What was the legend now? ‘Travel Pye –’ don’t tell me – ‘travel Pye –’
    George    ( pleased ) ‘– if you want to fly.’ ‘Travel Pye if you want to fly.’
    Felix    Ah yes. A fleet of Flying Pyes. Did you come up with that?
    George    I did, as a matter of fact.
    Felix    Genius. Absolutely inspired.
    George    Thank you very much.
    Felix    Only thing is, I remember being rather disappointed the first time I travelled on one of your coaches. It was all curiously earthbound, you see. Not at all P–pye-in-the-sky-ish. But then you weren’t driving. Perhaps they needed George himself at the helm to really make them lift off.
    Flora    It’s just as well, Felix. You don’t really have a head for heights.
    George    When are you going back to your – erm, studies?
    Flora    He hasn’t completely decided, have you? A little break will do him good.
    George    Astrology, isn’t it?
    Felix    What?
    George    Your bag. Astrology.
    Felix    No.
    Flora    It’s like astrology, darling. It’s not a million miles away.
    Felix    Theoretical astrophysics. I think the differences between the two could be measured in light years.
    George    It’s all the same to me.
    Flora    And me. But he’s a clever boy.
    George    Don’t believe in it myself, anyway.
    Felix    What?
    George    Horoscopes. A load of balls.
    Felix    Really? I bet you’re a Taurean then, aren’t you?
    George    ( as if he is getting the joke ) Ah! Yes! Good one.
    Felix    Yes, definitely Taurus, the b–bull. Born in the month of May. When’s your birthday, George Pye? When’s his b–birthday, Mother?
    Flora    Well, you know, it is May. It is May, isn’t it, George? But you could be on the cusp.
    Felix    Bullseye. Perhaps you’re right, George Pye. Perhaps astrology is, after all, my b–bag. Here I was thinking that all the other sciences were woolly and descriptive, that there was something p–pure and exact and fundamental about theoretical physics, that it would unveil for me the secrets of the universe but now I see I was mistaken. I should have got myself a sparkly waistcoat and a pair of coloured contact lenses and started b–bandying a few predictions about. At the summer solstice, with the happy conjunction of Venus and Saturn, all Taureans born on the cusp will find themselves going out on a romantic limb.
    Flora    Stop it, Felix.
    George    Look, son –
    Felix