Hold Your Own Read Online Free

Hold Your Own
Book: Hold Your Own Read Online Free
Author: Kate Tempest
Pages:
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woman the boy became
    Born more brawn than most,
    Born warm.
    Born close to ghosts.
    Born storm.
    Born old.
    Grew young.
    You could tell she wasn’t from
    The same place as the rest,
    Born strong.
    Born wrong.
     
    She grew.
     
    Growing is what anyone would do.
    Given the particulars
    She knew what she knew
    She was ridiculous.
    Born too smart and too dumb.
    Born to hold the world under her tongue.
     
    Don’t swallow yet.
     
    She felt
     
    All the things that others didn’t feel,
    Or if they did,
    They did a lot to conceal what the feelings were.
     
    She felt skies and bricks and rain.
    She felt it all
    It made her fall
    And weep beneath a crawling dawn
    When everything was ruined; torn.
     
    She felt ill.
    But she felt still.
     
    How many yous have you been?
    How many,
    Lined up inside,
    Each killing the last?
     
    How many times have you
    Seen yourself change,
    Felt yourself splitting in half?
     
    When does it happen? There in the moment?
    Or when you look back and say
    – that’s when my changing began?
     
    Born hero.
    Born freak. Born weirdo.
     
    Born blind.
    Born seeing.
     
    Born man.
     
    She stands.
     
    The hillside beneath her is crumbling.
    The sky frowns.
    The land wants to return to the sea.
     
    She is food for the gulls and it’s humbling.
    But this is not all
    That she was born to be.
     
    All of the things in her life that have happened.
    All of the changes.
    All of the strangers.
     
    All of the nights and the days in her heart
    Have been present in her since the start.
     
    You don’t learn.
    You remember.
     
    Born with it all in your chest.
    Born first.
    Learn last.
    Burn fast like paper
    Unless you’re wet logs.
     
    Wet dogs shelter in her caves when they get lost.
    Howl with her.
     
    She has been touched without asking.
    Punched by a madman.
    Drunk in a bad town.
    When she puts her hands down
    And feels what’s beneath
    She feels all the grief
    Of the world.
    Lay a wreath
    For the girls.
     
    She will march
    Till she feels the tarmac respond.
    She will die for our wrongs.
    We won’t notice.
     
    She is fire
    And sleet and granite,
    Space rock shattering the planet.
    She wants to stop it spinning in its tracks like a dumb child.
     
    She will be prophet one day.
    For the moment
    She soaks up all that she can
    She will own it
    This filthy body this life
    The dethronement of all that was precious
    In favour of all that is tepid.
    Opponents mean nothing. She’s Titan.
    Born of the first breed.
    Born in the last days.
    Frightened of nothing that bleeds.
    The more that you hate her
    The less that she needs.
     
    All of her childhood passed in a flash
    When she woke on her back in a clearing.
    Time to be me now.
     
    How many yous will you carry,
    Weeping and desperate to marry?
    How many yous will you churn out?
    Turn out the light for the night.
    She has burned out but she’ll be alright.
    She is coming up.
    Child of her time.
     
    Red morning.
    Blood on the tips of the thorns,
    And the awning is dripping
    With all of our scorn. We were born in
    Days that will fill you with porn and with boredom
    Grey little faces march in the squadron to warsongs
    Penned by cynical fiends,
    The latest big hit that cements the routine.
    Sell us the download.
    And kill all our dreams.
     
    She rises.
    She will see through the disguises.
    They stab knives in her thighs.
    See the swell of her iris?
    She survives.
    She will run till the cities are vanquished.
    And all of the children are gods again.

On Clapton Pond at dawn
    The pond was calm
    the sky was new
    your voice was soft your lies were true.
    You were me and I was you
    and I was going blind with you.
     
    You told me I reminded you
    of Venus when I smiled at you,
    or angels that go flying through
    the paintings in the quietest rooms
    of galleries. Renaissance girls,
    all soft curves and floating curls.
    We sat there and the light shone through
    the leaves and we admired the view.
     
    I loved you.
    I had died for you
    that night,
    I’d closed my
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