Here Comes the Bribe Read Online Free Page A

avoided a collision with her cousin, who was eating Brie on a cracker.
    â€œThey’re all a little weird,” Renie declared. “Let’s eat what’s left of dinner. Joe took your mother’s meal out to the toolshed. Did you convince Rodney he’s not your long-lost son?”
    â€œI couldn’t convince Rodney it’s Friday,” Judith replied as they left the living room. “He’s either nuts or . . .” She paused, setting the guest register down on the new marble-topped credenza by the staircase.
    â€œOr what?” Renie inquired.
    â€œI don’t know. That’s what bothers me.” She gave Renie a bleak look. “I’m not sure I want to find out.”
    J oe Flynn was disgusted. “Let me handle this goofball,” he said after Judith had recounted Rodney Schmuck’s incredible declaration.
    Renie waved her fork. “Hey, turn him over to Bill. He can probe his psyche and find out why he’s goofy.”
    Bill looked exasperated. “I can’t figure out what’s really wrong with my squirrelly patients. I just sit there and think about what I want to watch on TV after dinner. It’s the only way I can stay awake.”
    Renie gazed at her husband. “Tell them about the Hindi woman you had the other day.”
    â€œWhat’s to tell?” Bill replied with a shrug. “It took me fifteen minutes to realize she was speaking in Hindi. Or something. The only odd thing was that I closed the window on her sari. Then she really became unraveled. Kind of interesting.” He shot a sly glance at his wife.
    Renie’s brown eyes snapped. “Stop. Or you’ll be the one who’s sorry about the sari.”
    Bill shrugged again and attacked his boysenberry pie à la mode.
    Judith looked at Joe. “Will you talk to Rodney tonight?”
    â€œThat depends,” he replied, “if they get back before eleven. I’m not staying up to interrogate your latest loonies. I can do that at breakfast.”
    â€œOkay,” Judith agreed. “But they should be back fairly early. Their dinner reservation was for seven. I won’t stay up late either. I refuse to have to listen to Rodney insist I’m his mother just before I go to bed. I might have nightmares. Why would he do such a thing?”
    â€œMaybe,” Renie suggested, “as Uncle Al would say, he’s ‘got an angle.’ Are you sure he’s a motivational speaker? I don’t think Schmuck could motivate me to leave a burning building.”
    â€œI only know what he told me,” Judith admitted. “I didn’t get a chance to ask if other guests were coming to the wedding.”
    â€œForget it for now,” Joe advised. “Maybe the guy’s delusional. Or he’s got you mixed up with somebody else. You can’t be the only Judith Grover in this country. Both names are common. When your parents had you, Judith was a very popular name for girls.”
    Renie had forked in a mouthful of noodles and ground beef, but it didn’t stop her from jumping out of her chair. “Ahmgundchwakrdznaw.” She hurried into the kitchen.
    Joe looked at Bill. “What did she say?”
    â€œWho knows?” he responded. “She doesn’t always make sense when her mouth isn’t full.”
    Judith glared at both men. “She’s going to check the name via the Internet. I can translate when Renie’s eating. We’re only assuming that my maiden name is the one Rodney researched, but it makes sense.”
    Renie’s return was quick, mercifully after she’d swallowed herfood. “There are pages of Judith Grovers. And Judy Grovers. I stopped after the first two. They’re all over the place.”
    â€œThat’s a relief,” Judith said. Then she added softly, “I think.”
    B y five to eleven, the wedding party had not returned. The Flynns headed up to bed on the third