Here Comes Civilization: The Complete Science Fiction of William Tenn Volume II Read Online Free

Australia for, say, five hundred bucks? Or Antarctica? I could give you a real nice deal on Antarctica."
    He looked interested. "Antarctica? What would you want for it? No—I'm not getting anywhere. A little piece here, a little piece there. It all costs so much."
    "You're getting damn favorable prices, buddy, and you know it. You couldn't do better buying at wholesale."
    "Then how about wholesale? How much for the whole thing?"
    I shook my head. "I don't know what you're talking about. What whole thing?"
    He looked impatient. "The whole thing. The world. Earth."
    "Hey," I said. "That's a lot."
    "Well, I'm tired of buying a piece at a time. Will you give me a wholesale price if I buy it all?"
    I shook my head, kind of in and out, not yes, not no. Money was coming up, the big money. This was where I was supposed to laugh in his face and walk away. I didn't even crack a smile. "For the whole planet—sure, you're entitled to a wholesale price. But what is it, I mean, exactly what do you want to buy?"
    "Earth," he said, moving close to me so that I could smell his stinking breath. "I want to buy Earth. Lock, stock and barrel."
    "It's got to be a good price. I'll be selling out completely."
    "I'll make it a good price. But this is the deal. I pay two thousand dollars, cash. I get Earth, the whole planet, and you have to throw in some stuff on the Moon. Fishing rights, mineral rights and rights to Moon buried treasure. How about it?"
    "It's a hell of a lot."
    "I know it's a lot," he agreed. "But I'm paying a lot."
    "Not for what you're asking. Let me think about it."
    This was the big deal, the big giveaway. I didn't know how much money the TV people had given him to fool around with, but I was pretty sure two thousand was just a starting point. Only what was a sensible, businesslike price for the whole world?
    I mustn't be made to look like a penny-ante chiseler on TV. There was a top figure Eksar had been given by the program director.
    "You really want the whole thing," I said, turning back to him, "the Earth and the Moon?"
    He held up a dirty hand. "Not all the Moon. Just those rights on it. The rest of the Moon you can keep."
    "It's still a lot. You've got to go a hell of a lot higher than two thousand dollars for any hunk of real estate that big."
    Eksar began wrinkling and twitching. "How—how much higher?"
    "Well, let's not kid each other. This is the big time now! We're not talking about bridges or rivers or seas. This is a whole world and part of another that you're buying. It takes dough. You've got to be prepared to spend dough."
    "How much?" He looked as if he were jumping up and down inside his dirty Palm Beach suit. People going in and out of the store kept staring at us. "How much ?" he whispered.
    "Fifty thousand. It's a damn low price. And you know it."
    Eksar went limp all over. Even his weird eyes seemed to sag. "You're crazy," he said in a low, hopeless voice. "You're out of your head."
    He turned and started for the revolving door, walking in a kind of used-up way that told me I'd really gone over the line. He didn't look back once. He just wanted to get far, far away.
    I went through the door after him. I grabbed the bottom of his filthy jacket and held on tight.
    "Look, Eksar," I said, fast, as he pulled. "I went over your budget, way over, I can see that. But you know you can do better than two thousand. I want as much as I can get. What the hell, I'm taking time out to bother with you. How many other guys would?"
    That got him. He cocked his head, then began nodding. I let go of his jacket as he came around. We were connecting again!
    "Good. You level with me, and I'll level with you. Go up a little higher. What's your best price? What's the best you can do?"
    He stared down the street, thinking, and his tongue came out and licked at the side of his dirty mouth. His tongue was dirty, too. I mean that! Some kind of black stuff, grease or grime, was all over his tongue.
    "How about," he said, after a