Haunt Dead Wrong Read Online Free Page A

you’ll be on your way?’
    ‘You’re all heart, kid. There could be some truth in that. I left some memories there, for sure . . .’
    He drifted off for a moment, his mood melancholic. This wasn’t like the Major at all. He was usually wisecracking, playing pranks and generally goofballing. Dougie and I shared a look of
concern. The Yank was often evasive when his past came up, but he’d never fallen silent before.
    ‘Should we head over there?’ I asked. ‘Is there something you’d like us to retrieve? After all, I think that’s why I’m still here, to help people out,
whatever their mortal state.’
    The Major snapped out of it, a grin back on his face in a flash. ‘I thought it was your bromance with Sparky here that kept you spooking about?’
    ‘For the umpteenth time,’ Dougie sighed. ‘It’s
not
a bromance. We’re mates, that’s all.’
    ‘Mates with a beautiful, special, supernatural bond, eh?’ said the Major, grinning impishly. ‘Yeah, I got you two down pat!’
    ‘So that’s a negatory on visiting the airbase?’ said Dougie, not allowing him to wriggle off the hook as he’d done so many times before.
    The Major stood and straightened his uniform. It was the strangest thing watching a ghostly man, glowing pale blue, dusting himself down.
    ‘Don’t sweat it, kid. I’m good. It’s this place I’m bound to, right? The hospital’s my home. There’s nothing for me at the base any more.’
    ‘But what do you
do
here?’ asked Dougie. ‘As far as I can tell you stand at the entrance like a sentry. Hardly seems productive. The Lamplighter, however, haunts the
railway station. His job’s pretty clear: he scares the crap out of anyone who gets close.’
    I shivered at mention of the Lamplighter, the only other spirit we’d encountered. Dougie and I had found ourselves on the platform late one night. A crooked killer’s spectre that
oozed wickedness, the Lamplighter had left me fearful for my life. Quite a trick, considering I was already dead.
    ‘The Lamplighter’s an old-fashioned malevolent spirit, tied to the scene of his crimes,’ said the Major. ‘Springheeled Jack for a new generation.’
    ‘Exactly. He has a job description,’ said Dougie. ‘Even Will seems to have a purpose. He haunts the heck out of me, follows me around like a loveless, lonely, lost, little
puppy that’s been kicked up the butt.’
    ‘Cheers for that.’
    ‘You’re welcome.’
    ‘You’re tied to the hospital,’ I said, picking up my pal’s thread. ‘But why? I haunt Dougie. The Lamplighter haunts the station. Why do you haunt the
hospital?’
    The Major scratched his chiselled jaw. His teeth shone white as he flashed his ladykiller smile.
    ‘I’m here to help: the “meet and greet” for new arrivals.’
    ‘You weren’t here for me.’
    ‘You caught us
all
on the hop, kid.’
    ‘How long are you here for though?’ I asked. ‘It’s already been seventy years!’
    ‘I really don’t know when I’m supposed to clock off. I guess I’ll figure it out when it happens.’ He snapped his heels together and saluted me. ‘As ever,
it’s been an absolute pleasure.’
    He turned to Dougie, salute dropping. ‘And you. Go away and watch some films. Good ones, this time. Preferably featuring Jimmy Cagney.’
    With that, the Major strutted back toward the A&E, shouting,
‘You dirty rat!’
as he went.
    ‘What a colossal arse,’ said Dougie as we watched him go. ‘You really like him, don’t you?’ He didn’t answer, but I spied a smirk appear on Dougie’s
face too. He shrugged.
    ‘Suppose he’s OK. For a Yank.’

FOUR
M&Ms
    Dungeons and Dragons, so often the last bastion of teen male imagination, was no longer a sacred realm. Back when I’d been a living, breathing, dice-rolling young man,
roleplaying games had been a refuge for me and my mates. Donning our armour and pointy hats of wizardry, we could sally forth, tackling all manner of monstrous mayhem in our make-believe