Going Down: The Elevator Series Read Online Free

the elevator—not the man, unfortunately—and managed to utter a thank-you without tripping over my tongue. I subtly checked out his reflection in the metallic doors and looked away quickly all nine times he caught me staring. He was quite fetching.
    Fetching? I think I suffered head trauma earlier and repressed it. Whatever you do, do not open your mouth and speak to this demigod.
    “So,” I began against my better judgment. “You come here often?”
    I tentatively lifted my hand to my forehead to see if I could actually feel the lobotomy scar. No one with a full brain said things like that.
    “Do I come to this elevator often?” My wet dream incarnate asked. He laughed and it sounded like a combination of all the happy sounds ever. “No, I’m a first timer.”
    “A virgin? Lucky for you, I can show you the ropes.”
    I did not just say that. Please let this elevator plummet through the basement and let the earth swallow me whole.
    As if on cue, the aforementioned elevator jerked, groaned, and screeched to a halt. The sudden stop flailed me about the cabin, where I landed the most ungraceful right hook across Mr. Suit God’s left jaw.
    That did not just happen.
    “Sorry! I’m so sorry!” I was doing my best impression of Van Gogh’s The Scream .
    He rubbed his jaw, flexing it from side to side. “Speaking as the token virgin here, is that normal?”
    I just punched him in the face. Scratch that. I accidentally asked him to go down on me and then punched him in the face. I’ll be lucky to leave this elevator not hog-tied and tasered by the authorities.
    Hoping to physically hold back the asinine word vomit, I covered my mouth and spoke through my hand. “No! I don’t make a habit of hitting handsome men!”
    His smile could foster world peace. “Handsome, huh? Well, thank you, I think. Actually, I was wondering if this contraption typically stopped between floors. You’ve got one heck of a right arm, by the way.”
    “I know. I’ve been using that arm more than usual lately. I—uh… What was the question again?” I seemed to be having more trouble than usual getting my bearings in an awkward situation. You would think my body would be acclimated to it by now.
    “The elevator. Does it always break down?” He stepped closer. “Hey, are you all right? You look a little pale. You’re not claustrophobic or anything, are you?”
    This was not happening. This had to be some kind of barbaric psychological experiment for one of the universities. I did not sign a release for this.
    “Um, no. It’s just really warm in here. I haven’t eaten much today, and I was in an invisible cage match with a mime earlier and this day has been a little overwhelming. But to answer your question, no, the elevator is ancient, but typically the only reliable thing in this building.”
    He laughed as I refilled my lungs after that word vomit. “Well, let’s try the emergency phone.” Since I was standing in front of the phone, he had to lean around me to open the tiny door. “Maybe they can at least drop a pizza down to us.”
    His face was much closer to me than it was a moment ago. Being the classy lady that I was, I resisted the urge to lick across his jaw line. He was easy on the eyes. I wondered what Emily Post would say about licking a stranger.
    My reverie was interrupted when my cellmate cursed. “Shit. I’ve never actually used one of these red phones before, but I think dead air is a bad sign. Let’s try this button with the red bell on it. It looks promising.”
    He could push all the buttons for all I cared, as long as he stayed this close to me. He mashed the button and the circular piece fell back into the control panel somewhere. I wanted to make a pun like “Well, that’s alarming!” but I kept that one to myself.
    He rested his head against the wall for a moment. He then pulled out his cell phone and cursed again. “Shit, shit! I don’t have any bars. What about you?”
    I started digging