Even Now Read Online Free Page B

with both hands and looked straight ahead at the white nothingness. They’d known each other as far back as they could remember, and Shane was always the first one in a room to smile or tell a joke. But in the last few months he’d grown quiet and anxious, trapped and searching for a way out. “Maybe — ” he looked at her, looked straight to her soul — “we should drive off and never look back.”
    “Maybe.” She turned and leaned against the passenger door.
    They were supposed to see a movie that night, but instead they drove around town, scared and silent. No one at school knew she was pregnant, but they would soon. She was four months along now. Already she could barely button her jeans. Reality was closing in on them like a vice grip.
    A year ago she’d seen a movie with her dad where the main character was trapped in a hallway with no doors and no windows. Scary music pounded from the big screen as the walls began closing in, closer and closer, leaving the guy no way to escape, no way out. Just when it looked like he’d be crushed, he spotted a trap door and got out with his life.
    That’s the way it was with her and Shane now. The walls were closing in — but there was no trap door. No way of escape insight.
    They never meant to sleep together, but it happened. Not once, but a few times. Only a few times. Lauren stared at her hands. Her fingers were trembling. Proof that she was falling apart a little more every day. She’d fought so hard to get a little freedom from her parents. To get them to trust her. Getting them to let her go alone with Shane to youth group had been a major deal. But finally they gave in. Let her have some freedom.
    Maybe too much.
    Over the summer, their parents started letting them hang out together in their bedrooms with the doors closed. At first Lauren was thrilled. But now . . . She shook her head. What did they think was going on in there? Especially in the past year, since Shane had his own car and didn’t take her home until hours after his parents were asleep.
    “We trust you,” her mother said once. “As long as you’re with Shane.”
    Lauren felt a wave of disgust well up inside her. Why would that make things safe between them? Knowing someone as long as she’d known Shane made it more dangerous, not less. They were so comfortable together that giving in, going all the way, seemed like nothing more than an extension of kissing. Until it was over.
    The first time, when they were finished and they got dressed, they both were scared to death. “God’ll punish us for sure,” Lauren told him.
    Shane hadn’t argued. They skipped youth group that week — and the next too. After that it was easier not to go, not to look in the faces of their leaders and lie about how well they were doing or how they were praying or reading their Bibles.
    The punishment came, all right. A positive pregnancy test six weeks later. Since then everything changed between her and Shane.
    Everything but this one fact: they loved each other. And it wasn’t just a kid thing. They loved with a realness and a longing that consumed them. Yeah, they’d messed up and they were sorry. One of the youth group leaders knew about their situation, and the guy had met with them and their families a few times to pray and ask for God’s wisdom.
    But the punishment remained. She was seventeen and pregnant, and her parents’ friendship with Shane’s parents seemed to have all but disappeared. Their fathers were even breaking up their business relationship. Where would they work once they sold the bank?
    Lauren had a hard time breathing whenever she thought about it. She studied Shane again.
    His jaw was set, his eyes distant. He hit the steering wheel with his right hand. “I hate this.” He let his head fall back against the seat. “Something’s going on, but not one of them is talking.”
    “Tell me about the bank again.” Lauren’s stomach hurt. She leaned over and studied his profile.
    Shane