Diary of a Dieter Read Online Free

I met a guy just like my father. He wanted nothing to do with me and left my mother high and dry. Just like Brad was doing now. Except, thankfully, I wasn’t carrying his child. I shuddered at the thought. Imagining Brad during the birth was hilarious. All that mess and screaming, he’d have been likely to lose consciousness. That, or he’d have been frantically rubbing his hands with the alcohol gel they provided. How the hell did I fall for that freak?
    “When you get home after the holidays, we are hitting the stores! We should have been hitting the wonderful boutiques of Paris, but now that the fucknut went and screwed you over …”
    I held my hand to my mouth and let out a little whimper. For my hen night, the girls had arranged a whole weekend full of fun and laughs in Paris. We were meant to stay in Disneyland and have cocktails, ride rollercoasters, and act like teenagers again. Now, I was going to be spending that weekend alone in my apartment with Jacob for company. Jacob was my cat. He got his name after I’d found him rummaging through my rubbish bags. He was licking some soured cream off one of my discarded ‘Jacobs Creek Rose’ bottles. I tried to shoo him off, but he kept crying at me in the pitiful little way he does. So, I took pity on him and allowed him to stay one night only. That was three years ago. Brad hated Jacob. He always hissed and snarled at him if he got up on the furniture. I should have realized then that Brad was a douche. I mean, really, who hisses at a cat? What a snake.
    “Don’t worry about it, Charlene. Paris isn’t going anywhere. We could go this summer. Right, Vanessa?”
    Dana glared at her and realizing her mistake, Ness quickly relented.
    “Oh, of course. Paris shmaris, right? We can have just as much fun seeing in the New Year here.”
    I rolled my eyes as Dana began to tease out the knot I’d created by rolling around the bed with half a can of hairspray on it.
    “Oh yeah, that sounds like so much fun. Excuse me while I tie some concrete to my feet and hurl myself off the London Bridge. What could be better than getting drunk in the apartment and waiting for my ex-fiancé to turn up and collect his stuff? Awesome.”
    Ness huffed and stood with her hand on her hip. “Are you going to sit on that pity pot for the rest of your life?”
    Dana’s mouth fell open, and she snapped back at her sharply. “Ness! She just had her wedding called off less than six hours ago! Have some common courtesy.” She was beginning to get riled up. The way she was pointing her curling iron at Ness made me uncomfortable. But then again, it was right next to my head.
    “I’m just saying she can’t mope forever. Hell, Charlene, you should be counting your blessings that the shit streak is out of your life for good. He really was no good for you. We tried to warn you.”
    Now, I was getting angry. I loved my friends, but Ness had a tendency to let her mouth run away from her.
    “Okay, Vanessa. I get it. You all hated him. Can you drop it now? It’s hard enough as it is.”
    She inhaled deeply and opened her mouth to speak, but a knock on the door silenced her.
    “Are you decent?” Adam’s voice came booming through the door.
    “Never. But I’m clothed, if that’s what you mean,” I yelled back at him.
    Opening the door, Adam stood with his phone in his hand and cleared his throat loudly. “Well, I cancelled your ticket to Ireland and got your money back.”
    I gave him a grateful smile and mouthed a thank you as Dana began tugging at a rather painful knot in my hair. He shrugged and turned his attention to Ness, who was almost completely buried inside my wardrobe. Her slender hips and black kitten-heeled shoes were all that were visible.
    “We could push her in, lock the door, and tell everyone she moved. One shove. That’s all it would take,” Adam joked.
    “Any excuse to get your hands on my arse. Oh, Charlene! This is perfect!”
    Backing her way out of my wardrobe, she