Bitter Sweet Beginnings Read Online Free

almost daily as an E.R. nurse. Yet, I know I’ll be left with two puncture scars… a permanent reminder of the donation, the sacrifice that spearheaded the downward spiral of my love life.
    It was that surgery, that procedure, that essentially sold me out, revealing my secrets to everyone I’d been hiding them from. The true parentage and genetics that linked me to Vince and the rest of the Kingsmen MC was revealed.
    For some, like Lil’s, Jay, and surprisingly Jean… it was a welcome surprise. To others, the ones who mattered the most to me, Clink and Brendan, it was the end.
    I close my eyes tight and step into the shower, begging myself to quickly move on from thinking of him. I can’t do it. I can’t bring myself to remember him, his strong, manly build that would wrap itself around me. The rich tones of his scent that would intoxicate me and blind me.
    The wicked tattoos that covered the majority of his body and hypnotized me as I studied them. Each bulging muscle that would call to me, beg to be touched, licked, grabbed….
    Why am I doing this to myself?!
    I rest my head against the cool tile and feel the water cascade over my skin. I hear the echoing within the shower stall as I gulp deeply, sobbing. The tears sting somehow, burning my eyes as they take over.
    I need him. I always told myself that I was strong enough not to need anyone, but I need him right now... and he’s gone.
    My chest heaves, shuddering as I let out the pent up emotions that have been stored down deep these last few days, feelings that I’ve been able to avoid by sleeping away my time.
    It hurts. Almost as much as I imagine the scalpel hurt as it sliced into my skin, revealing the access to my spine. I was lucky enough to be under anesthesia then. I need something now to numb myself from this, too.
    I gather myself enough to begin to wash and scrub at my skin, cleansing myself. My skin is screaming, aching for his touch, knowing that I’ll never feel it again.
    I close my eyes and remember the last time his hands were on my body. It was the night before the procedure. I was his woman then, his Ol’ Lady. I was his and he was mine, and our bodies were as much the other’s as our own. Each crevice of every part of me fit into him like a puzzle, locking into place and sealing me to him.
    The patches he gave me, the ones that once covered my back… I never wanted them. And now, I feel naked without them.
    I clear my mind and think of the patches, the leather of the cut that bore them, imagining it covering my back, my flesh. I felt safe, protected, wanted while I wore them. And now… now I feel none of those things.
    If I can’t feel those things, then I don’t want to feel anything.

    ~*~

    “You’re baking cupcakes?”
    My eyes widen as I follow the delicious smells coming from the oven of my cramped kitchen. Dana’s busy whipping a metal wire cooking utensil that I’m pretty sure had only served as decoration before, into a large blue bowl of white stuff.
    “You didn’t have much in your cabinets. I found some cake mix and thought I should make something so we can at least offer something. I would step out to the store and pick something up, but I didn’t want to leave you here alone.”
    Dana whips furiously, determined to get the sugary stuff in the bowl to yield to her command.
    I roll my eyes at this domestic Dana in front of me.
    “Dana… these are bikers. Pretty sure all they need is beer. Do we have beer?”
    Her eyes widen. “Shit! I didn’t think about that! You—you have a few bottles in the back of your fridge. They don’t look all that new though.”
    That’s an understatement. They’re probably a few months old. I hadn’t exactly been around enough to clean out the fridge back then. I was too busy playing house with Clink. A whole lotta good that did me .
    A little while later, the small electric timer on the range beeps, alerting Dana that the cupcakes are done baking. The heavy metal sounds rattle as