Beware False Profits Read Online Free

earlier?” Ed asked.
    “I feel like such a fool.” Dorothy smiled ruefully. She had a wonderful voice, rich, deep, and simpering. I was really hoping we could stay long enough to hear her warble “Over the Rainbow.”
    “So it was you?” I asked.
    She shook her pigtailed head sorrowfully. The pigtails were luxuriant, as long as my arm, and sticking out of hair that was teased into cottony poufs. Had I tried this with my youngest daughter Teddy, she would have asked her father to remember me in his prayers.
    “I forgot the phone was here,” Dorothy said. “Isn’t that silly? I guess I dropped it back on the table Thursday night.”
    “I’m confused. Why did you have it? It belongs to…Josephine, doesn’t it?”
    “Oh sure, it’s Josephine’s. He was just so upset that night. He came off the stage and made a call to somebody, then I guess he came back in here and changed. By the time I finished my act he was gone. Like the wind—and without his phone.”
    Dorothy swept a bejeweled hand in a graceful arc. “I saw the phone and picked it up. I tried to return it, you know, but no such luck. So I put it back where he dropped it, in case he came back. And this dressing table is just such a mess. I guess I forgot about it. I guess none of the other girls saw it, either.”
    “I guess nobody heard it ringing. Because people have been calling Joe.” I didn’t say the “wife” word. I wasn’t sure how that would go over here.
    “The phone was set to vibrate. I only heard it because it rattled the bottles in front of it this afternoon. I was here practicing my new number.”
    Dorothy flipped open a case and took out a false eyelash as thick as an Ohio woolly caterpillar. She dotted glue along the edge, then waved it in the air. “They go on better this way, you know. What girl needs glue in her eye? Right, sweetie?”
    I didn’t know. My own average eyelashes have to suffice, although now I felt a sting of jealousy, compounded by the flawless red nails on the hand that was holding the lashes. When was the last time I had enough time for a manicure?
    Clearly Ed was as confused as I was. He tried for clarity. “So you answered today…”
    She carefully attached the eyelashes to her lid, then repeated the ritual for the second lid before she answered. “I did. Then I got up to close the door so I could hear whoever it was, and by the time I got back to the table, the phone went dead. The battery, of course. Gone with the wind.” She smiled shyly. “I guess you can tell I’m Scarlett O’Hara in the final revue of the evening. You should see me in a hoopskirt.”
    “I’d like to,” I said. “What color is your dress?”
    “Aggie…” Ed frowned at me, and sensing his annoyance, Toto made a lunge in my direction. I shrugged as Ed jerked him away.
    “We don’t want to take up a lot of your time,” I said. “Here’s the thing. Joe seems to have disappeared. His wife”—I paused, because now that secret was out—“He has a wife.”
    “He wouldn’t be the only one. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.” Dorothy winked. At Ed. The new lush eyelashes created a much needed breeze, although the sweat seemed to trickle faster.
    I went on. “The thing is, nobody at home knew about, uh, this part of his life.”
    Dorothy rolled her eyes. “See my last statement.”
    “Okay. Well, can you maybe tell us how long he’s been performing here?”
    Dorothy pursed her lips and stared at them in the mirror. Either she was thinking hard or about to touch up her lipstick, which, I might add, was already perfect. I was hungry for lip liner tips, but with Toto and Ed menacing me, I knew better than to ask. In extreme circumstances I was afraid Ed was capable of setting the dog loose.
    “I’ve only been here about six months,” Dorothy said. “I came up from New Orleans. Before Katrina I was a star on Bourbon Street, and afterwards, well, it just wasn’t fun anymore. Josephine was already here. See,