A Thousand Deaths Read Online Free

couldn't profit from the situation—and began to stuff it full of clothing. He was glad, in a way, that there was a short limit to the amount of belongings he could take with him. His poverty wouldn't be so apparent wherever he was going. He finished packing, zipped the bag closed, and dropped it to the floor. That chore was done. He looked around him, around the apartment, wondering what else he could do to occupy his mind. There didn't seem to be anything urgent. He was dismayed that he could wrap up his affairs, his life, so quickly and effortlessly. Wouldn't there be some loose ends? Weren't there some people who would miss him terribly? Wasn't there anything in the world that would suffer without his attention?
    No, there wasn't. That was what TECT had tried to tell him. That was why it had decided to excise him from the community at large. TECT had said that Courane was a weed in the garden. TECT admitted that Courane wasn't a threat or a danger, but weeds had to be removed nevertheless. They used up resources and contributed nothing. They disturbed the garden's integrity. They offended the sense of proportion of the gardener—and that was what TECT was these days, even though it always added that it operated "in the name of the Representative."
    One telephone call would be enough. "Hello, Dad?"
    "Sandy?"
    Courane coughed nervously but said nothing. He was already sorry he had called.
    "Sandy?"
    "Dad? Hey, just calling to see how you and Mom are."
    "We're fine, Sandy, we're both fine. How are you?"
    "Fine, Dad. It's awful cold here."
    "Cold here, too. The landlord has the thermostat set at some goddamn freezing temperature. Your mother has to wear her big blue sweater to bed. I was going to go buy one of those little heaters, but your mother's afraid of being gassed to death in the middle of the night."
    "Uh huh."
    "So, what's up with you? We went to Vienna weekend before last to visit your mother's brother. They bought a little farm. Filthy place. I didn't like it, but you know your mother. How's your new job?"
    Courane felt his eyes fill with tears. His mouth was dry. He wished that it were tomorrow, next month, five or ten years in the future and whatever was going to happen would be done and finished. No, instead he had to go through it all, step by step, and he couldn't just close his eyes and wait for it all to go away. It would go away eventually, but it would disappear the hard way. "That's one of the reasons I called, Dad. I got laid off."  
    "Laid off? You mean fired?"  
    "Yeah."
    "Goddamn it, Sandy. That's the third time. They're liable to—"  
    "They already have." Courane closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. He had a headache. He spoke in a low, weary voice. "I got a message on the tect here at home that TECT has ordered something special for me."
    "What?" His father sounded almost frantic, much more concerned than Courane was himself.  
    "I don't know, Dad. I'm not sure."
    Courane's father was astonished. "You mean to tell me that you don't know what they're going to do to you? You didn't ask?"  
    "I was a little afraid."
    "Sandy, you put the phone down and you go to your tect and you find out. I'll wait."  
    "It'll cost a fortune."
    "The hell with that," said Courane's father. "I'd think that would be the least of our worries. I don't believe you sometimes, son."
    "I'll be right back." Courane was feeling more anguish than he showed to his father. He wanted more than anything not to distress his parents, but that would be almost impossible. Knowing that, Courane wished to keep the hurt and grief at the lowest possible level. This wasn't the first time in his life that in seeking to protect his mother and father, he had succeeded only in wounding them more deeply. This knowledge burned him as he hurried downstairs.
    He confronted the tect. "Regarding the last message to Courane, Sandor, what precisely are the details of my sentence?"
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    **COURANE, Sandor: 
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