A Certain Age Read Online Free Page B

for God’s sake, Ox. You can’t be serious.”
    â€œWhy not?”
    â€œWhy not? Because it’s a farce. A medieval farce. Who sends a proxy to propose for him these days? Chivalry went out with the Armistice, Ox, didn’t you know? Chivalry went out when the Lewis gun and the chlorine gas and Picasso came in. This shiny modern world hasn’t got any knights left in it.”
    â€œIt’s not a farce, sis. It’s a fine old family tradition. A cavalier presents the august family ring to the lady of one’s choice, the lady who will one day become the next Mrs. Ochsner, ruler of all New York—”
    â€œDarling, the Ochsners haven’t ruled anything for years, not since Mamie Fish took over from Lina Astor. And now it’s just anarchy. Actresses and artists and writers, God help us. The present Mrs. Ochsner commands a crumbling house on Thirty-Fourth Street and nothing else to speak of.”
    â€œNot true. Mama has pedigree, Theresa, she has history, which is more than you can say of some ink-stained penny novelist.” He pauses grandly, flicks his ash into the tin. “Anyway, I need a cavalier. A ring bearer.”
    I laugh. “Oh, Ox. Only you.”
    â€œI’m serious, sis. How about one of your boys?”
    â€œAbsolutely not. They haven’t got a knightly bone in their bodies. Unless it’s a football you want delivered, they’re not interested.” I stub out the cigarette.
    â€œOne of their friends?”
    â€œWhat about your friends?”
    â€œMy friends are all married. Or else lecherous old bachelors like me.”
    â€œYou know what it is, Ox? You don’t give a fig for family tradition. You just want someone to do your dirty work for you. You don’t want to face the girl herself and ask her to marry you. After all, what if she does the sensible thing and says no?”
    He drops his cigarette in the tin and turns to the bed. “She won’t say no.”
    â€œYou don’t sound very confident.”
    â€œShe won’t say no. I’m sure of it. Her father’s on my side, and she—well, she’s a good girl, Sisser.”
    â€œDoes as she’s told?”
    â€œExactly. And she likes me, she really does. I pulled out all the stops for her, sis. Charmed her silly. She likes horses, I took her riding. She likes books, I . . . well, I—”
    â€œPretended to like books?”
    â€œYou know what I mean. I dazzled her! I took her into our library on Thirty-Fourth Street, Papa’s old library, and you should have seen the lust in her face.”
    â€œSo she’s marrying you for your strapping great library ?”
    He turns back, smiling, and flourishes an illustrative hand along his body, from brilliantine helmet to bunion toes. “And my own irresistible figure, of course.”
    As I said. Delusional.
    I reach inside his overcoat pocket and draw out the cigarette case. There’s only one left. I rattle it around and consult my conscience. “Of course, Ox. You’re just as perfectly handsome as you were at twenty-two. In fact, I can hardly tell the difference.”
    Ox picks the gasper out of the case and hands it to me. “Go ahead. Take it. And in return, you’re going to find me my ring bearer, aren’t you?”
    â€œMaybe.”
    â€œSweet old sis. Always count on you to help a fellow out in a pinch.”
    â€œIndeed you do.” I strike a match and hold it to the end of the cigarette. My brother watches me anxiously. The light’s a little better now, the sun is rising, and the lines around his eyes grow deeper as the reality of daylight takes hold of them. The slack quality of his skin becomes more evident. And I think, Is this how I look, too? Despite the creams and unguents, the potions and elixirs with which I drench myself daily, has my face grown as shopworn as his?
    When we’d been married a year or two, and Tommy was still a