108. An Archangel Called Ivan Read Online Free
Author: Barbara Cartland
saying it.
She knew that so far she had not met anyone who had felt like that about her.
She could hardly believe that what she had listened to had not been part of a dream. Charles wanting to marry her despite the fact that he adored Betty and Simon being ordered by his mother to ask her for her hand in marriage, although she was certain that he did not find her at all lovable.
It then suddenly struck Arliva with a feeling of horror that maybe she would never find anyone who would love her for herself.
She wanted the love her father and mother had had for each other which was why he had never married again, although at times he must have been very lonely.
‘I just want to be loved for myself,’ she thought. ‘I don’t want anyone who pretends to care for me because they want my money or anything else I possess.’
Yet she could not stop herself worrying that it was something she might never find.
She could hear the band playing and knew that her guests would be wondering why she was not with them.
Perhaps they would think she was sitting in some secluded corner listening to a man offering her his heart and he was only really giving her his brain which told him that she was very rich.
She felt as if her money was encircling her with tight cords that would prevent her from ever knowing the meaning of real love, the love that everyone wanted, the love of a man and a woman simply because he was the other half of herself.
‘That is what I want,’ Arliva said to herself, ‘but because I am so rich it is a gem I will never find. Even if I want to believe a man loves me I will be quite certain that he will be grasping for that great fortune which exists in my name. Oh, please God, what shall I do?’
The prayer came directly from her heart.
Now that Charles and Betty had gone, she went to the window as if to look up at the sky.
There was a half moon and all the bright stars were twinkling.
“Help me, please help me!”Arliva cried. “I have to find love, but for the moment it’s impossible to believe that any man will ever love me for myself.”
She was staring at the moon as she spoke.
Then, as the light from it seemed to descend upon the earth beneath, an idea came to her, an idea so strange and so outrageous that she could not believe it possible.
Yet she knew it was what she had asked for in her prayers.
This was the answer.
CHAPTER TWO
Arliva slept well that night despite the fact that she had been very late going to bed.
It had been two o’clock before anyone had thought of leaving what to them was a very good party.
She was glad when at last some of the older guests decided that they were tired and the band played ‘ God Save the Queen ’as everyone stood to attention.
They all said that it was one of the best parties they had been to in the Season.
Only Arliva knew what trouble she had experienced in keeping away from the Earl, who had been ordered by his mother to propose to her.
He kept turning up every time she was without a partner to ask her to dance and fortunately she was able to stave him off by saying that she had promised someone else.
In fact she managed to avoid dancing with him at all before the party came to an end.
When she climbed into bed, she did not feel sleepy as she had expected.
She lay still thinking of how Charles and Betty had doubtless gone home clinging to each other almost in tears at the thought that they would seldom be able to do this again.
The idea that had come to her when she had left her sitting room was still there at the back of her mind.
But she had to think her present situation over most carefully as her father had taught her to do.
She looked in depth at her problem from what she believed was an impersonal angle.
Finally she fell into a deep sleep.
*
When she awoke, it seemed to her that things were much simpler than they had been the night
She knew that so far she had not met anyone who had felt like that about her.
She could hardly believe that what she had listened to had not been part of a dream. Charles wanting to marry her despite the fact that he adored Betty and Simon being ordered by his mother to ask her for her hand in marriage, although she was certain that he did not find her at all lovable.
It then suddenly struck Arliva with a feeling of horror that maybe she would never find anyone who would love her for herself.
She wanted the love her father and mother had had for each other which was why he had never married again, although at times he must have been very lonely.
‘I just want to be loved for myself,’ she thought. ‘I don’t want anyone who pretends to care for me because they want my money or anything else I possess.’
Yet she could not stop herself worrying that it was something she might never find.
She could hear the band playing and knew that her guests would be wondering why she was not with them.
Perhaps they would think she was sitting in some secluded corner listening to a man offering her his heart and he was only really giving her his brain which told him that she was very rich.
She felt as if her money was encircling her with tight cords that would prevent her from ever knowing the meaning of real love, the love that everyone wanted, the love of a man and a woman simply because he was the other half of herself.
‘That is what I want,’ Arliva said to herself, ‘but because I am so rich it is a gem I will never find. Even if I want to believe a man loves me I will be quite certain that he will be grasping for that great fortune which exists in my name. Oh, please God, what shall I do?’
The prayer came directly from her heart.
Now that Charles and Betty had gone, she went to the window as if to look up at the sky.
There was a half moon and all the bright stars were twinkling.
“Help me, please help me!”Arliva cried. “I have to find love, but for the moment it’s impossible to believe that any man will ever love me for myself.”
She was staring at the moon as she spoke.
Then, as the light from it seemed to descend upon the earth beneath, an idea came to her, an idea so strange and so outrageous that she could not believe it possible.
Yet she knew it was what she had asked for in her prayers.
This was the answer.
CHAPTER TWO
Arliva slept well that night despite the fact that she had been very late going to bed.
It had been two o’clock before anyone had thought of leaving what to them was a very good party.
She was glad when at last some of the older guests decided that they were tired and the band played ‘ God Save the Queen ’as everyone stood to attention.
They all said that it was one of the best parties they had been to in the Season.
Only Arliva knew what trouble she had experienced in keeping away from the Earl, who had been ordered by his mother to propose to her.
He kept turning up every time she was without a partner to ask her to dance and fortunately she was able to stave him off by saying that she had promised someone else.
In fact she managed to avoid dancing with him at all before the party came to an end.
When she climbed into bed, she did not feel sleepy as she had expected.
She lay still thinking of how Charles and Betty had doubtless gone home clinging to each other almost in tears at the thought that they would seldom be able to do this again.
The idea that had come to her when she had left her sitting room was still there at the back of her mind.
But she had to think her present situation over most carefully as her father had taught her to do.
She looked in depth at her problem from what she believed was an impersonal angle.
Finally she fell into a deep sleep.
*
When she awoke, it seemed to her that things were much simpler than they had been the night
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