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her dress shimmering and red. As the music started, she was joined by Brandon, by Allan, by a couple other nameless pretty boys, and as her backup dancers bounced and thrust with choreographed fluidity, the Queen of Hearts performed.
    I watched, enraptured as always. She was grace and elegance and perfection. Small wonder she was the only resident queen in the club. Who else did they need? She owned the room and everyone in it, from tweaked-out club kid to gym bunny to leather daddy. I watched, and drank, and when the song was over, I clapped and cheered as much as the rest. And then she was gone.
    â€œWhat did you think?” Brandon asked, throwing his arm around me. He was slick with sweat, and I could feel his abs flex against my arm with every panted breath.
    â€œIt was great! She always is,” I said.
    â€œI know she is. What did you think of me?”
    â€œOh, well, you were great too.”
    â€œWe rehearsed all afternoon.” He leaned into me closer. “Did you think it was hot?”
    Curious, I thought, he’d never hit on me before. “Very hot,” I said, and turned into his face. Our lips were inches apart.
    â€œThere you are!” Allan squealed, grabbing Brandon by the shoulder. “Let’s go for a bump.”
    Brandon rolled his eyes and smirked at me. Without looking away, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his bumper bottle. “Here, go, I’m good.” Allan glared at me, but took the bottle and ran off to the bathroom.
    â€œSo Alex,” Brandon said, “what’s up with you and Steven?”
    â€œWe had a fight,” I said. “It will blow over, I hope. He was pretty mad.”
    â€œWhat about?”
    â€œDrugs.”
    â€œI didn’t think you partied.”
    â€œI don’t really. Well, it was a bad week. It was dumb.”
    â€œOh, I’m not one to judge.” His hand was on my thigh. I was very aware of his hand on my thigh. “Maybe we should party together sometime.”
    â€œI’m flattered but I really want to work things out with Steven. And what about Allan?”
    â€œWhat about Allan? You don’t think he’s cute?”
    â€œHe’s adorable, Brandon. All your boys are.”
    â€œMaybe you can party with both of us. I mean, I hear you’re a pretty good third.”
    Damn Jesse and Colton! “That was a mistake too.”
    â€œWell, if you want to make another mistake this weekend, it is my birthday,” he said, and his hand slid up my thigh to my crotch. I couldn’t help but grunt as he squeezed. He squeezed hard, but I was suddenly harder.
    Allan was back, and dragging him away. Brandon looked back at me and winked, and then his abs disappeared into the crowd. I shifted on my stool, ordered another drink. As the bartender, some new ginger cub called Tom or Todd, brought it to me, I looked across to the dance floor, where Brandon and Allan flailed about to the Hatter’s hard house, where Jesse and Colton claimed their cage.
    I could see where this night was going to go. And before it went there, I decided it was best to leave. I tipped back my last drink, and lost myself in the crowd, hoping none of my friends saw me as I snuck up and out. Luckily none did, and when I was out in the fresh night air, away from the throbbing bass and equally throbbing temptations of hot men, I thought again of Steven.

Chapter 5
    A fter we finished dinner, Steven drove me back to my car. The sun was starting to go down. As I unlocked my car door, he said, “I’m glad you backed into me.” Smiling, I turned around. He was right behind me. And then he was kissing me, and I was kissing him. My keys fell to the ground.
    â€œWant to go dancing?” he asked.
    I wasn’t a big bar person. When I’d first come out, of course, it was the bar every night, but that had been years before, and then I’d been in a relationship for six years, rarely going out. After