Wishes and Tears Read Online Free Page A

asked Janet anxiously.
    â€˜Well, you spend most of the day on your knees praying and after that it’s in the kitchen cleaning the pots and pans.’
    Janet grinned. It was worse than school. She settled down under the blankets and felt strange knowing, after all her apprehension since the day her mother had received the letter, that she could be happy here.
    They talked for quite a while in low whispers.
    Janet heard how Freda had met Mick and had fallen in love with him. It was when she found she was having his baby that he told her he was married.
    â€˜So then me stepdad threw me out.’
    â€˜But what about your mother?’
    â€˜Me mum? She couldn’t wait to get rid of me. She didn’t want another mouth to feed. ‘Sides, she thought I was a bad influence on the others.’
    â€˜You’ve got brothers and sisters?’
    â€˜I should say so. Two brothers and three sisters that were me dad’s. He died a long while ago. Then I’ve got another three sisters—they’re me stepdad’s. I’m the oldest.’
    â€˜That must be quite a houseful?’
    â€˜You could say that. In some ways I’m glad I’ve got this little ‘en to love, even if it is only for a few weeks.’
    Janet was astounded. She sat up. ‘You mean they let us keep them for a few weeks?’
    â€˜Sometimes, but only while we’re in the hospital. It depends if they’ve got a family waiting or not to adopt, and they don’t like putting ’em on a bottle straight away.’
    Janet was grateful she was sharing with Freda. Freda had picked up a lot during her weeks at the home, and Janet knew she had so much to learn.
    They talked long into the night. Janet told her all about Sam and her parents.
    â€˜Christ, I bet that upset ’em.’
    â€˜It did. My father has been really awful about it.’
    â€˜Yer, but he must have done it at some time to have got you.’
    â€˜But they were married.’
    â€œEre, perhaps you’re the result of an immaculate conception.’
    Janet put her hand over her mouth and giggled quietly. She suddenly realized she hadn’t laughed for a very long time.
    Freda told her there were twelve expectant mothers in the home and every day after breakfast and prayers they all had chores to do. Then it was breathing and exercises. The afternoon was for resting and relaxing, then after tea they could stay in the day room for a few hours until bedtime.
    When they finally said their good nights, Janet turned over, and for the first time in months went to sleep with a smile on her face.

Chapter 3
    For the first few days Janet watched and waited to be told what to do. At the beginning she just had to help out, but towards the end of the week Doreen, another mother-to-be, started labour and was whisked off to the hospital. Doreen’s job was to vacuum and dust the day room, so now that became Janet’s. Freda was proving to be a good friend and helped her whenever she got behind.
    On Sunday morning after breakfast they were to go to church. This was the first time Janet had been outside. The nuns didn’t approve of the girls going out alone. Were they afraid they would run away? Where would they go? Every one of the girls said it was her parents that sent her there—out of sight, out of mind.
    Janet slipped on her coat and looked out of the window. The wind was blowing the leaves off the trees, swirling them up then tossing them back down. She shivered. Her and Freda’s room was at the front; she could hear the traffic but couldn’t see beyond the high barrier of trees. At the back of the house was a small garden with a patchy lawn and a few bare straggly shrubs. It had a path that led to the washing line. They each had a set day to do their washing. Houses overlooked the back garden, and the girls only went out there when they had to, as some of the children from the houses sat on the wall and called