Winter Longing Read Online Free

lost myself in the daydream, in my thoughts of Spencer’s arms around me, his warmth seeping into me, his eyes telling me he had waited his whole life to hold me close.
    “What do you think?” Monica asked.
    It took me a moment to realize she was addressing me, and I had no idea what she was asking about.
    “Never mind,” Lindsay said. “She’s off in Lusting for Spencer Land now.”
    “Jeez, Linds. Could you say that a little louder? I’m not sure the oil-field workers at Prudhoe Bay heard you.”
    “You daydream during important conversations,” Linds said in a fake Russian accent, “you pays the price.”
    To keep from laughing, I looked away from her. I noticed Mr. Kerr whispering something to Dad at the edge of the yard. A tight expression crossed Dad’s face as he followed Mr. Kerr inside. Maybe there was some type of medical emergency. Whatever it was, I felt confident my dad would handle it. Nothing could ruin my high.
    I thought of beer-soaked Jesse inside. If his dad caught him, my solid B-list status might slip even further.
    Maybe I should go say something. But what could I do that wouldn’t just make things worse? Lie and say that I bumped Jesse into someone older who had a beer? Maybe he’d already changed and gotten rid of the evidence anyway.
    Why was I worrying about it? If the situation were reversed, I doubted he’d do the same for me. I took a bite of chewy brownie.
    “What is it?” Lindsay asked.
    I didn’t look at her, because I’d noticed Dad stepping out of the back door of the Kerrs’ house, his face even tighter than before. “Something’s going on,” I said around my mouthful of chocolate. “Back in a minute.”
    I weaved my way through the crowd toward where Dad was talking to Mom. When I saw her hand go up to her mouth in shock, I quickened my steps.
    “I’ll let you know any news as soon as I can,” Dad said, then kissed Mom on the cheek.
    “What’s going on?” I asked.
    My parents jumped as if burned. My heart instinctively skipped.
    Mom stepped forward. “We don’t know the details yet. Everything may be fine.”
    The brownie lodged in my throat. “What are you talking about? ”
    Mom and Dad glanced at each other, a pained look passing between them. Some part of my brain registered the tears forming in Mom’s eyes.
    “I’m heading up to Katmai,” Dad said. “A . . . a plane has gone down.”
    My vision tunneled, and my hearing grew muffled. My knees threatened to buckle. I glanced toward the mountains, noticed that the visibility conditions were worse up there now than when we’d arrived.
    I shook my head. It couldn’t be Spencer. It just couldn’t be.
    Mom reached for me, but I backed away. “No! ” I scanned the crowd, frantic to confirm that Spencer had arrived and was safe, desperate to recapture the carefree, wondrous happiness of the previous minute. But his familiar face didn’t appear among the others. “No, no, no.”
    I turned and ran, barely aware of anyone around me. I didn’t know where I was going until I reached the end of our street and headed for Bristol Road. The airport. Spencer and Samuel, his instructor, would be there. Of that I was sure. And even if they weren’t, Charlie Stevens, who ran the airport, would tell me everything was okay, that whoever had crashed was someone else. Not Spencer. Samuel was too experienced, Spencer too smart.
    By the time I reached the airport, my breath was coming in ragged spurts. When my feet hit the linoleum floor in the lobby of the small, prefab building, they nearly slid out from under me. As I righted myself, I realized Charlie wasn’t alone.
    I edged closer to his office so I could hear what he was saying.
    “I’m so sorry,” I heard Charlie say softly.
    The sound of Spencer’s mother’s cry froze my heart solid. The pain of realization pierced me from every direction. I stood, unable to move, unable to breathe.
    God, I prayed, please let me have misunderstood. Let this be an awful,