and I are like a carton of milk. We always had an expiration date. Sheâs just tossing us out now, before we spoil, instead of after.â
âWhatever you say, man. I think itâs pretty fucked up, though. She didnât even say good-bye. I thought for sure you two would work it out.â
âWe donât all end up with our high school sweethearts, Mattie.â
Though it was silent, his partner held his glare, a tense energy passing between them. Matt only came to about Samâs shoulders when they were both standing tall. He was stocky, but short. And like a bulldog, he could deliver as loud a bark as any of the big dogs on the force. And he knew Sam better than he sometimes knew himself.
âWell, I need to get going. Captain Straimer is assigning me a temp partner,â Matt snarled, his lip curling. âApparently Officer Laura Rodriguez is training to be detective and so sheâs gonna shadow me while youâre out of commission.â
âJesus,â Sam grunted. âGood luck with that. Keep it in your pants, man. Kelly will eat you alive if youââ
âYeah, yeah, I know.â Matt laughed, opening the bedroom door. âBut she wonât know if I look or not. Just no touching.â He held both hands up at his shoulders, palms out, as he backed out the door. âIâll check on you later. Call if you need anything.â
The sound of Mattâs heavy footsteps clomped down the stairs and with a slam of the front door, Sam was alone in his apartment again. For the first time in years, he felt lonely. The boring white walls, crappy particleboard furniture, and simple navy décor was suddenly massively depressing.
Without thinking, he grabbed his phone and called Jess again. Just one more time to say good-bye . . . and yet, as the phone rang against his ear, he knew it was a stupid idea. She hated himâor at least she should hate him. Her voice mail clicked on and he ended the call without leaving a message. And really, what was there to say? All those years; all that time he had lied to her about his mom. A lump lodged in his throat and he took another slurp of soup to help it go down. All those years of hiding the truth and covering for a woman who, nine times out of ten, would have chosen a bottle of gin over her own son. But what was he supposed to do? Turn his mother in to the authorities? Go into the foster system and be parentless? Unlike Jess, he didnât have an older sibling to step up and become his legal guardian.
He shook his head, tossing the almost-empty bowl of soup back onto the nightstand. Fuck. Turning his mother in was exactly what he should have done. He had been a total and utter coward. A young coward, yeah, but even as he got older, even now that he was a grown man and knew his mistake, he never took steps to right that wrong. Not to mention that he was also the worldâs biggest hypocrite, serving as Portland, Maineâs lead detective.
And now he had lost Jessie for good because of it.
Which was precisely what should have happened, because she deserved better than him. Her very life depended on finding someone better than him.
3
âS o, Jessica . . . why donât you tell me what you think you know?â Elliotâs eyes glistened, ripe with authority in a smug way that Jess just freakinâ hated. It elicited anger and a frustration deeper than she cared to examine.
âLetâs see,â she said, and dropped the handle of the suitcase sheâd found in the back of Cassâs guest closet, kicking it out of her way. âI know that my sister was involved in drugs. Not doing them herself, but distributing. It was pretty obvious when I started putting the pieces of her life together. I know that the two of you started as some sort of master-apprentice, dominant-submissive relationship before you fell in love. I know that the masquerade parties are some sort of front to get the drugs