the middle and, while the dock had not been brightly lit, it was brighter than the deck on which I crouched. Gradually shapes resolved themselves into identifiable items. Down each side of the ship, hard against the gunwale, guns pointed outwards, each securely lashed down with the portholes closed. No one was expecting to fire the guns any time soon. In between the guns lay chests and barrels secured by rope netting. Masts stretched up into the dark sky on which was strung a latticework of ropes and nets. There were openings down the centre of the deck, some closed and others open, from which light spilled upwards. I would have to descend into one of these openings as I could not remain in the shadows of the cargo on the deck until the morning.
With my ears on alert for any footfall on the deck, I crept towards the nearest hatch and peered over. A ladder dropped straight down to the deck below while a single lamp hung from a hook on a beam. I looked up again but could not see anything as my night sight had been spoiled. I took a chance, lowered myself into the opening and descended quickly.
I was in a passageway with cabins on either side with most of the doors closed. I peered inside one of the open doors into a small space with a wooden bunk against the side of the ship. Even though it was empty, I knew that they had to be officers’ cabins and I could not hide here.
I had to descend further, into the depths of the ship where no one would find me. I saw another opening in the floor just in front of a big cabin in the centre.
Loud laughter erupted somewhere behind me; someone was coming. I crept to the opening and almost fell down the ladder onto a lower deck where it was completely dark, for there was no lantern here. I waited for my eyes to adjust but it was quite black, only the spilt light from the lantern on the floor above me lit the space. It contained a series of lockers that held supplies, as I discovered when I opened one. I moved further along, opening lockers until I found one that had old clothes in it. I moved a few aside, climbed in and arranged them around me. I hoped that, if someone opened the locker, then they would not see me amongst the clothes.
I lay down as best I could in the cramped space. The clothes smelt damp and unwashed and, together with the stale seawater, engine oil and the earthy smell of coal, made the small cupboard suffocating. I opened the locker a little to let in some air and shaped a seaman’s coat into a pillow. In spite of the strange sound of water lapping against the hull above me, and the creak of the ship as she moved against the wharf, I fell asleep.
31 January 1863
Early morning
I was woken by a sudden thud that shook the ship, then she started vibrating and I feared she would shake herself down to the bottom of the sea. I was to learn later that the ship was a steam corvette with boilers in the hold that burnt coal to fire the engines that in turn powered her through the water. The engines were generally used when entering and leaving a harbour, and the sails used while in open sea. Unbeknown to me, the fires had been stoked early in the morning, and the steam pressure increased in preparation for her leaving for the open sea. It was the throb of the engines that shook the ship.
I stayed in the locker, curled up amongst the clothes in case someone should open the door, listening to the thumps overhead and the shouted orders as the ship began to make way.
I had no idea of time for there was no light, and I could only guess at what was happening on the decks above. I could feel the ship make her way through the water with a slight rocking motion. It was restful and I almost fell asleep until the ship hit the open sea with a lurch and bile rose in the back of my throat. I swallowed it hastily.
The ship rose up, and then crashed down, and I felt my stomach go with it. The note of the engines changed from a peaceful drone to a throaty roar as we pushed