When It Rains Read Online Free

table. “I’m sorry. I’ve never been good at this, the telling people their loved one is dying. Losing a patient is hard for me believe it or not.”
    “Part of the job, right?” I scoff wiping my chin.
    He frowns and extends his hand to help me up. I take his offered kindness and I am the first to see Joey. Gertie is on the phone calling in family. And Cass insists that I go in first. She is clinging to the same hope as me, that he will fight for me...for us.
    The curtains are drawn, shielding anyone passing by ICU from seeing through the windows of his room. The different machines keeping him with me hum and beep, as his chest rises and falls.
    “I’ll just go clean my shoes,” Dr. Redding, excuses himself.
    I approach Joey slowly; afraid the slightest movement may bring him harm. His face is wrapped in gauze. I can only see his lips, nostrils, and bruised eyelids.
    “Oh God,” I whisper, palm against my mouth. My tears fall like a steady rain as I stand by his bedside. There are so many tubes and wires. His arm is swollen; it’s so much larger than I remember. The color of his bruised hand is all wrong. This isn’t the man who was making love to me this morning. What was only a few hours ago now seeming like ten lifetimes ago.
    Sensing someone behind me, I turn to see a nurse. “You can touch him, but he probably can’t feel it. He’s been given a lot of medication. But they say talking helps.” She smiles weakly, coming over and checking the readings on the monitors. She’s young, pretty even. I’m glad a pretty warm face is taking care of him. If he were awake, I’d be teasing him right now that he only got in here to fulfill his hot nurse fantasy.
    “Joey, can you hear me,” I speak softly to him as if my words could injure him further. “It isn’t supposed to be this way,” I whisper talking to myself more than anyone. “It’s not fucking fair Joey! You are the best man I have ever known and I need you. You can’t leave me, you can’t give up on me, damn it.” I cry quietly, wiping my tears on the hem of my shirt.
    I brush my thumb over his knuckles afraid to touch him, but wishing like hell I could crawl in the bed with him, and lay my head against his chest. I wish he’d wrap his arms around me and tell me this is all a dream, that he is still here, and he loves me most.
    But staring at him, I can’t feel him. I can’t explain it really, but he isn’t here in this room...in this body.
    Joey’s gone and he’s not coming back.
    He will never propose.
    I’ll never have his baby.
    It’s not fair!
    I slump over him as I wail.
    Later on, when I am all cried out, a hand touches my back, and for one fleeting moment I could swear its Joey. But in my heart of hearts I know it isn’t. Lewis.
    “Cass and Gertie want to see him. Big Joe will be here soon. Let’s go to the chapel.”
    I nod, but I know my prayers won’t be heard. 
    I can’t bear to meet Cassie’s eyes as I pass by her in the hall. I want to lunge at her, and hit her so fucking hard but I don’t. But God do I just want to hit something...someone.
    Cassie
    Two months later...
     
    “I mean look at her,” Lewis says. “She is just so...”
    “Sad,” I finish for him.
    Audrey is on stage her head is hanging from the floor upside down as she belts out Bohemian Rhapsody, “Nothing...matters.”
    She begins to howl like a dying cat and then screams, “Eat me all of you, you’re all zombies.” Then she drops the Mic and passes out. Lovely.
    “You know I love our girl, but she’s hurting the business. She is running off what little customers we get out the door.” He motions dramatically to the group shaking their heads as they walk out the door.
    “I know, but it’s only been two months.” I wish I could help her. We all miss him, but it’s different for us. He was planning to propose the day he died, and I just had to open my mouth for Audrey to hear. I had to open my mouth, and start a fight with my brother,