When I Was Invisible Read Online Free

never had got around to going out on a proper date and I didn’t really mind.
    Todd had transformed my life. He made me fizz with excitement. He told me all the time how much he wanted me, how much he liked being with me; he even gave me a mobile phone so he wouldn’t have to leave messages for me at the theatre, at the café I worked at or at my shared house. Now he was saying he didn’t want me to leave. The excitement inside fizzed up so much I could hardly breathe. I never thought it’d be possible to feel like this. If he put his arms around me, my flinch would be momentary, my innate panic at having someone so close would last for seconds. Todd was incredible and he thought I was incredible, too.
    â€˜What do you mean?’ I asked him about him not wanting me to leave. Did he want me to stay all night? I held my breath, waited for him to say one day soon I’d be allowed to stay all night.
All
night.
    He unhooked my bag from my shoulder, dropped it on to the ground by the front door. Then slowly tugged my leather jacket – another present from him I’d taken weeks to actually accept, and then a few more weeks to actually wear – off my shoulders. He moved closer to me, smiled before he pressed his lips against mine. ‘I mean.’ He pressed another kiss against my lips. ‘I want.’ Kiss. ‘You to.’ Kiss. ‘Stay.’ Long kiss. ‘For ever.’
    For ever?
He really wanted me for ever? Not only one night –
for ever.
He, who could have anyone, looked at me and thought about for ever? ‘You really mean that?’ I asked. That fizzing inside was bubbling up and up. If he meant it, I would be with him any time I wanted. We would be together. We would have so much time together, we’d have a home together. No more sneaking around, no more sharing the bathroom with four other people (Todd’s flat had three loos, and two bathrooms) and no more labelling my food in the fridge. Todd and I could recline on the sofa together and watch television. Recline. On. The. Sofa.
Together
. Simply reclining on the sofa would be novel – since I’d stopped smoking, there seemed very little reason to leave my room nowadays. When I did venture into the shared living room, I would sit tensed up, trying to work out from the way conversations were going who had fallen out with who because they’d moved someone’s yoghurt in the fridge, or had left hairs in the shower for the third time that week. All of that would be smooshed aside if Todd meant it.
    Since I’d met him, since we’d started this thing between us, I hadn’t been homesick, not once. I hadn’t wanted to go home, fix things with my parents, tell them that I’d do better, I’d appreciate all the sacrifices they’d made for me if they’d just listen to me.
Believe me
. Since Todd, all I did was look forwards. The past was easier to walk away from, not run and run away from. Sometimes, when I was with Todd, I didn’t feel like a runaway at all.
    â€˜For ages I’ve been wanting to say that you can keep that key you’ve got. Murray keeps telling me that I shouldn’t rush into this thing with you, especially since you’re younger than me and no one in the press knows about you yet, and it’s coming up to transfer time soon so I need to keep a low profile off the pitch while at the same time really up my game on the pitch. Murray’s thinking I could make it into the Premier League if I box clever and I shouldn’t let anything get in the way of that.’
    My stomach did a little spin – I thought Murray, Todd’s agent, liked me. He’d certainly been really nice to me every time I’d spoken to him on the phone.
    â€˜But then, in the next breath, he’s telling me not to let you go because since you’ve been around, happiness has made me play like a demon. No one can touch me when I’m playing and